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>>> The other party also has to make an effort not to be boring, and that effort is rarely made either. Would you please elaborate what you mean by this? I am

>>> The other party also has to make an effort not to be boring, and that effort is rarely made either. Would you please elaborate what you mean by this? I am familiar with how conversations work or at least how they used to... This looking at your phone and tuning out of a conversation seems to be somethin new and lacking as you said, manners.

lucumo 5y ago
It's just that demanding someone's attention without expending the effort to be interesting to them is quite rude as well. If someone's constantly on their phone while you're speaking to them, your conversation is clearly not very interesting to them so you should do better. I find demanding someone's attention more rude than not giving attention that's requested. Someone's attention is theirs to give, not something for others to demand. As for how conversations used to work... When people were boring or uninteresting people would zone out and just uh-hu away. Just smile and nod. It may give the other the illusion that they're not being ignored, but they are.
- sigmaprimus 5y ago
  Well I did not demand their attention so I suppose that is a different thing, in fact I did attempt to engage them with questions but after a few "Huh What?" when they look up from their phones, then a one word answer and back to their phones...I just ate my meal in silence. I agree no one wants to listen to someone drone on and on, or brag about themselves but that is not what was going on in this specific case. The truth is it was only a lunch and now that I know how going to lunch with these guys works, I just wont bother inviting them again. I just needed to vent a bit I suppose, and you are correct it would be rude to make my opinion of their conduct known to them and would have come across as a demand for their attention.
  - lucumo 5y ago
    Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything about your specific situation or any other specific situation. There's absolutely room in the world for both situations to happen. (And I certainly didn't mean to imply you were boring. You've held my attention long enough :-) ) It's just that I see the sentiment repeated online rather a lot, while whenever I see the situation crop up offline, it's usually someone zoning out of an uninteresting conversation. I felt that observation and viewpoint needed some representation online.

lucumo 5y ago

It's just that demanding someone's attention without expending the effort to be interesting to them is quite rude as well. If someone's constantly on their phone while you're speaking to them, your conversation is clearly not very interesting to them so you should do better. I find demanding someone's attention more rude than not giving attention that's requested. Someone's attention is theirs to give, not something for others to demand. As for how conversations used to work... When people were boring or uninteresting people would zone out and just uh-hu away. Just smile and nod. It may give the other the illusion that they're not being ignored, but they are.

sigmaprimus 5y ago
Well I did not demand their attention so I suppose that is a different thing, in fact I did attempt to engage them with questions but after a few "Huh What?" when they look up from their phones, then a one word answer and back to their phones...I just ate my meal in silence. I agree no one wants to listen to someone drone on and on, or brag about themselves but that is not what was going on in this specific case. The truth is it was only a lunch and now that I know how going to lunch with these guys works, I just wont bother inviting them again. I just needed to vent a bit I suppose, and you are correct it would be rude to make my opinion of their conduct known to them and would have come across as a demand for their attention.
- lucumo 5y ago
  Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything about your specific situation or any other specific situation. There's absolutely room in the world for both situations to happen. (And I certainly didn't mean to imply you were boring. You've held my attention long enough :-) ) It's just that I see the sentiment repeated online rather a lot, while whenever I see the situation crop up offline, it's usually someone zoning out of an uninteresting conversation. I felt that observation and viewpoint needed some representation online.