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I think it is also very difficult to decide when enough is enough for the partner. Someone close to me went through this, and there comes a point where you have

I think it is also very difficult to decide when enough is enough for the partner. Someone close to me went through this, and there comes a point where you have to be honest and ask yourself: "Do I want to live like this for another 5-10 years?", "Do I want my children to learn that this is the normal?". Or, is it time to look ahead, find a partner that adds energy to your and your children's life. Love can be strong but is it worth everything? What are you teaching your children when you stay, what do you offer them when you leave? Is leaving too much selfishness or are you just suffering with 3 instead of 1? I wonder how people with depression think about this? Do they themselves at some point think: "Please, go on without me?" Sure, they do when they want to commit suicide, that is their rationale, but can you also say: Go on, be happy while I work this out on my own? Or is the tunnel too dark? Are you really alone in there? The people I know parted ways but I feel that the depressed partner never forgave the other party, and I do get that feeling (after all, they promised "for better or for worse" in front of their entire family). Meanwhile most people I know are seeing the healthy partner blossom, and their child now having a positive environment again. No more hiding of knives, no more strangers over the floor taking mommy away. No more going to grandma in the middle of the night. Those are extremely difficult questions and they arouse a lot of guilt in partners and I feel that it is often overlooked. When is enough, enough?

tcgv 5y ago
These are indeed though questions. In one hand we care for and have a responsibility for our partner, we wish them well, we try hard to help lift them up, to get them the adequate care they need. On the other hand how could we have known beforehand that this was how the relationship was going to be? How much are we willing to sacrifice for trying to improve things? The more time the couple spends together, the harder it will be to part ways. In the end I believe the answers to these questions will vary a lot depending on each specific situation, there's no "right" answer. Sometimes you will want to stick to it, and you'll be able to overcome these challenges together. Other times you might not be so luck. All in all if you decide to part ways do so peacefully and respectfully to your partner, and if possible check on him/her every once in a while if that's not too harsh for you.

tcgv 5y ago

These are indeed though questions. In one hand we care for and have a responsibility for our partner, we wish them well, we try hard to help lift them up, to get them the adequate care they need. On the other hand how could we have known beforehand that this was how the relationship was going to be? How much are we willing to sacrifice for trying to improve things? The more time the couple spends together, the harder it will be to part ways. In the end I believe the answers to these questions will vary a lot depending on each specific situation, there's no "right" answer. Sometimes you will want to stick to it, and you'll be able to overcome these challenges together. Other times you might not be so luck. All in all if you decide to part ways do so peacefully and respectfully to your partner, and if possible check on him/her every once in a while if that's not too harsh for you.