5 ms·

This is such a block-headed view and I hope no one reading will actually take it to heart. Mens emotions and mental health are just as valid as a woman’s. Absol

This is such a block-headed view and I hope no one reading will actually take it to heart. Mens emotions and mental health are just as valid as a woman’s. Absolutely hypocritical and dangerous viewpoint to hold.

noduerme 5y ago
Nah, it's been the default view of all of humanity for the past few hundred thousand years. I opened and closed by saying it was stone-aged, but it isn't without merit just because it's suddenly out of fashion. And as far as being "dangerous", it's not physically dangerous. Or, no more so than a woman staying with a man who takes his depression out on her. Which is a very dangerous thing, indeed. It's all good to say it's a block-headed view, but it ain't hypocritical (it would need to be self-contradictory for that), and there are lots of other views besides the "right one" - yours? What's that? - that people reading should take to heart. One of which is that men who can't hold their shit together are by definition more dangerous and harmful than women who can't.
- hackerfromthefu 5y ago
  Equal rights, Equal responsibilities. It's not just block-headed its much worse its plainly abusive to half the human race
  - noduerme 5y ago
    More like respectful. Men have more power whether we want to or not. Being a depressed bum is the same as replacing the abusive asshole father your girlfriend grew up with, so, try not to be that.
- gjulianm 5y ago
  > Or, no more so than a woman staying with a man who takes his depression out on her. Which is a very dangerous thing, indeed. So by your own words, you agree that telling men to stay with women who take their depression out on them is a dangerous thing. > One of which is that men who can't hold their shit together are by definition more dangerous and harmful than women who can't. By which definition? You're completely wrong here. The problem isn't that it's an "old times view", it's that it's dangerous and sexist.
  - noduerme 5y ago
    - gjulianm 5y ago
      What do you mean by dangerous? Violent? Or what? > than the prevalent young male attitudes that expose them to the same violence than males approach other males with. Honestly, I don’t know which reality you live in but if anything violence in regular relationships is being shunned and denormalized more and more. Also, you can’t keep the “good parts” of sexism and hope the bad ones (such as domestic violence) disappear. And I never said dangerous and sexist are the same thing. They’re different, and your argument is both of them.
      - noduerme 5y ago
      - noduerme 5y ago
fleddr 5y ago
"Mens emotions and mental health are just as valid as a woman’s." No, they're not. I mean I agree that they are just as valid, but society thinks otherwise, so practically speaking, they're not. Note that I'm willingly going to generalize and exaggerate as there's no other way to get to a point. Many men grow up in an emotional desert and are soon taught that expressing emotion is a sign of weakness. The boys don't cry narrative is very much alive. Parents may instill this toughness in you out of love, as they know what lies ahead. Emotional men don't stand a chance. In work, men are judged by performance, with no tolerance for failure. A man that can't make it on their own is a failure. Women can fail and have a support network, men do not. That's why the bottom consists of almost only men. And here we haven't even considered the reality in the developing world, where men can't afford to call in sick for mental illness. In relationships, men are selected for utility. Nobody wants to hear that, but you can't deny the biology. You need to be healthy/strong, economically sound and reliable, and of course easy on the eyes. Women wanting emotional men only want them when all other conditions are met. Nobody wants an emotional man that is "in between jobs". Further, relationships are emotionally dominated by women. Which is not a complaint, rather an observation. The reason why for even the toughest of men their mother is holy, is because it's their only source of genuine love. The only place where they are not judged by utility. Love for love's sake. In media, say sitcoms, men are always portrayed as the neglectful primitive idiot, emotionless. Alternatively as aggressor. On social media, men are made responsible for any and all horror in the world. Men are criminally under-complimented. They are absolutely shocked when somebody says something nice about them, as nobody ever does, no matter their efforts. There's even Youtube series featuring random acts of kindness towards men, bringing the men to tears. You can tell it's been decades since somebody did anything nice to them. And they are common men. So, I conclude that men's emotions are worthless. Men know this, they have lived it. To add insult to injury, once should of course curse men for being so poor in expressing emotions, not taking any of the above into account. The best response to my rant would be to say "oh gee....poor men. boohoohoo". That would only double down on the issue though, which is to completely disregard male mental well-being, to make fun of it. Note that I'm not attacking your point of view, I agree that the above is dangerous. But it's also the reality of things on the ground, and not changing.

noduerme 5y ago

Nah, it's been the default view of all of humanity for the past few hundred thousand years. I opened and closed by saying it was stone-aged, but it isn't without merit just because it's suddenly out of fashion. And as far as being "dangerous", it's not physically dangerous. Or, no more so than a woman staying with a man who takes his depression out on her. Which is a very dangerous thing, indeed. It's all good to say it's a block-headed view, but it ain't hypocritical (it would need to be self-contradictory for that), and there are lots of other views besides the "right one" - yours? What's that? - that people reading should take to heart. One of which is that men who can't hold their shit together are by definition more dangerous and harmful than women who can't.

hackerfromthefu 5y ago
Equal rights, Equal responsibilities. It's not just block-headed its much worse its plainly abusive to half the human race
- noduerme 5y ago
  More like respectful. Men have more power whether we want to or not. Being a depressed bum is the same as replacing the abusive asshole father your girlfriend grew up with, so, try not to be that.
gjulianm 5y ago
> Or, no more so than a woman staying with a man who takes his depression out on her. Which is a very dangerous thing, indeed. So by your own words, you agree that telling men to stay with women who take their depression out on them is a dangerous thing. > One of which is that men who can't hold their shit together are by definition more dangerous and harmful than women who can't. By which definition? You're completely wrong here. The problem isn't that it's an "old times view", it's that it's dangerous and sexist.
- noduerme 5y ago
  - gjulianm 5y ago
    What do you mean by dangerous? Violent? Or what? > than the prevalent young male attitudes that expose them to the same violence than males approach other males with. Honestly, I don’t know which reality you live in but if anything violence in regular relationships is being shunned and denormalized more and more. Also, you can’t keep the “good parts” of sexism and hope the bad ones (such as domestic violence) disappear. And I never said dangerous and sexist are the same thing. They’re different, and your argument is both of them.
    - noduerme 5y ago
    - noduerme 5y ago

fleddr 5y ago

"Mens emotions and mental health are just as valid as a woman’s." No, they're not. I mean I agree that they are just as valid, but society thinks otherwise, so practically speaking, they're not. Note that I'm willingly going to generalize and exaggerate as there's no other way to get to a point. Many men grow up in an emotional desert and are soon taught that expressing emotion is a sign of weakness. The boys don't cry narrative is very much alive. Parents may instill this toughness in you out of love, as they know what lies ahead. Emotional men don't stand a chance. In work, men are judged by performance, with no tolerance for failure. A man that can't make it on their own is a failure. Women can fail and have a support network, men do not. That's why the bottom consists of almost only men. And here we haven't even considered the reality in the developing world, where men can't afford to call in sick for mental illness. In relationships, men are selected for utility. Nobody wants to hear that, but you can't deny the biology. You need to be healthy/strong, economically sound and reliable, and of course easy on the eyes. Women wanting emotional men only want them when all other conditions are met. Nobody wants an emotional man that is "in between jobs". Further, relationships are emotionally dominated by women. Which is not a complaint, rather an observation. The reason why for even the toughest of men their mother is holy, is because it's their only source of genuine love. The only place where they are not judged by utility. Love for love's sake. In media, say sitcoms, men are always portrayed as the neglectful primitive idiot, emotionless. Alternatively as aggressor. On social media, men are made responsible for any and all horror in the world. Men are criminally under-complimented. They are absolutely shocked when somebody says something nice about them, as nobody ever does, no matter their efforts. There's even Youtube series featuring random acts of kindness towards men, bringing the men to tears. You can tell it's been decades since somebody did anything nice to them. And they are common men. So, I conclude that men's emotions are worthless. Men know this, they have lived it. To add insult to injury, once should of course curse men for being so poor in expressing emotions, not taking any of the above into account. The best response to my rant would be to say "oh gee....poor men. boohoohoo". That would only double down on the issue though, which is to completely disregard male mental well-being, to make fun of it. Note that I'm not attacking your point of view, I agree that the above is dangerous. But it's also the reality of things on the ground, and not changing.