4 ms·

> Part of me wonders if I have what your sibling commenter describes as “congruent depression” — depression which is expected given the circumstances of one’s l

> Part of me wonders if I have what your sibling commenter describes as “congruent depression” — depression which is expected given the circumstances of one’s life. I have a similar issue. It's a chicken/egg question. Is depression causing the struggles I'm going through, or are the struggles causing depression? I've done a lot of self exploration recently through a bunch of different therapists and have been diagnosed with ADHD. My original theory after learning this was that the ADHD caused my depression, especially because I noticed that during periods when I wasn't depressed, I still had issues with executive function. However really inconsistent results from ADHD medication make me question my theory. Maybe the depression is so pervasive that even when I'm not feeling depressed, the habits and thought patterns that I'm so accustomed to stifle me even though I'm no longer in the depression cloud. Maybe heavy internet/gaming/porn use for 20 years combined with a lack of good habits has just created an addiction to stimulation and set me up for failure in general. Maybe the asocial digital lifestyle I lead is just completely against my nature and I need to go be a high school teacher instead of a software engineer (but I think a high income is too important in the US for a comfortable life). Maybe I just need to start believing in God and let Jesus take the wheel. > I’m not living. There is no joy. And I can see, very slowly, the damage which is being done. I've heard multiple times that people with untreated ADHD have shorter life spans due to increased risk of suicide and stress-related health problems (I assume this applies to all mental disorders). The problem is that all mental health disorders are on a spectrum and that no one solution can fit everyone. I don't really have a solution for myself, and I wouldn't be surprised if I die "early". Speaking of TMS, a new depression treatment out of stanford has come out recently that sounds similar (i don't really know the details of either): https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2021/10/depression-treatment.html https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2021/10/depression-tr...

kindadepressing 5y ago
>Maybe heavy internet/gaming/porn use for 20 years combined with a lack of good habits has just created an addiction to stimulation and set me up for failure in general. This is something I wonder too. Could I have trained myself into this state? Is this a learned behavior? Has years of laziness and gratification seeking created a state where effort is no longer an option? > Maybe I just need to start believing in God and let Jesus take the wheel. I've been told this works really well. I have a weird feeling it might even work for me, if I could somehow get myself to buy into the whole organized religion thing. Maybe if Elon started a Church of the Simulation I could get on board, haha. The potential link to ADHD is interesting. At times I've wondered if I have ADHD. I certainly relate to many of the symptoms. I actually was diagnosed and prescribed Ritalin, but I have to admit that I was drug seeking at that time so not really sure the diagnosis holds water. >Speaking of TMS, a new depression treatment out of stanford has come out recently that sounds similar Funny you mention this, I was reading about it on HN a few days ago. It gave me hope. I actually emailed the group asking to be a part of a future study.
- ativzzz 5y ago
  >This is something I wonder too. Could I have trained myself into this state? Is this a learned behavior? Has years of laziness and gratification seeking created a state where effort is no longer an option? That's what I think about myself, and medicine won't magically undo the years of instant gratification. I read atomic habits (https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits) and am trying to integrate good habits/clear out some worse ones in addition to medication/therapy. It's fucking hard to make new habits.

kindadepressing 5y ago

>Maybe heavy internet/gaming/porn use for 20 years combined with a lack of good habits has just created an addiction to stimulation and set me up for failure in general. This is something I wonder too. Could I have trained myself into this state? Is this a learned behavior? Has years of laziness and gratification seeking created a state where effort is no longer an option? > Maybe I just need to start believing in God and let Jesus take the wheel. I've been told this works really well. I have a weird feeling it might even work for me, if I could somehow get myself to buy into the whole organized religion thing. Maybe if Elon started a Church of the Simulation I could get on board, haha. The potential link to ADHD is interesting. At times I've wondered if I have ADHD. I certainly relate to many of the symptoms. I actually was diagnosed and prescribed Ritalin, but I have to admit that I was drug seeking at that time so not really sure the diagnosis holds water. >Speaking of TMS, a new depression treatment out of stanford has come out recently that sounds similar Funny you mention this, I was reading about it on HN a few days ago. It gave me hope. I actually emailed the group asking to be a part of a future study.

ativzzz 5y ago
>This is something I wonder too. Could I have trained myself into this state? Is this a learned behavior? Has years of laziness and gratification seeking created a state where effort is no longer an option? That's what I think about myself, and medicine won't magically undo the years of instant gratification. I read atomic habits (https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits) and am trying to integrate good habits/clear out some worse ones in addition to medication/therapy. It's fucking hard to make new habits.