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I left a partner who has OCD and probably some other issues that cause massive mood swings and make her do a lot of irrational things. I tried for years to hel

I left a partner who has OCD and probably some other issues that cause massive mood swings and make her do a lot of irrational things. I tried for years to help and be understanding. It never really got better, never ending ending, often self-made problems kept coming and it reached a point where I felt either we go both down or I have to leave. So I left. I feel guilty to some degree but it was also clear that I couldn't help. The interesting part is that me leaving her seems to have woken her up and she has a much better attitude now. This makes me wonder if putting people with mental problems into a new situation away from family can break some of the negative patterns. My sister used to live with my parents for many years, barely left the home besides for work and in general just hated life. Then she went to a six month stationery treatment and you could see with very visit how she did better. Now she has her own place and an OK life . Maybe family or partners can prolong mental problems? Even if they want to help it's possible they are also contributing to the problem.

cm2012 5y ago
Kafka's The Metamorphosis explores this a bit. The protag, before the story starts, is relied upon by his mom, dad and sister for everything. Once he becomes a bug they become self sufficient again.
- sausageman 5y ago
  If you consider selling your daughter off for marriage self sufficiency sure.
  - cm2012 5y ago
    At the time that was the ideal outcome, a young woman from that time and place would consider it a disaster if they weren't married by age 25.
batshit_beaver 5y ago
As someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety for decades, huge crises like a partner leaving or getting fired (both due to depression and anxiety) have always forced me to get better at handling my issues. I totally am of the opinion that family, friends, and partners can all be huge enablers of really awful behaviors that feed or even cause mental illness. Not only that, it's not their job to make the sick person better. They can't. Only the person with the issues can learn to address them. That said, I've also seriously contemplated suicide in all these times of crisis, and I'm guessing a certain percentage of people in this type of situation won't make it through. Whether it's ethical to force them to deal with an even more awful reality in hopes that they'll become stronger is questionable, but I believe it's sometimes necessary, because many people with depression/anxiety don't really live anyway. I'm personally glad that not everyone tolerated my unhealthy lifestyle and outlook on life, otherwise I'd still be living with my parents without a job and without having seen anything other than the inside of my bedroom.

cm2012 5y ago

Kafka's The Metamorphosis explores this a bit. The protag, before the story starts, is relied upon by his mom, dad and sister for everything. Once he becomes a bug they become self sufficient again.

sausageman 5y ago
If you consider selling your daughter off for marriage self sufficiency sure.
- cm2012 5y ago
  At the time that was the ideal outcome, a young woman from that time and place would consider it a disaster if they weren't married by age 25.

batshit_beaver 5y ago

As someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety for decades, huge crises like a partner leaving or getting fired (both due to depression and anxiety) have always forced me to get better at handling my issues. I totally am of the opinion that family, friends, and partners can all be huge enablers of really awful behaviors that feed or even cause mental illness. Not only that, it's not their job to make the sick person better. They can't. Only the person with the issues can learn to address them. That said, I've also seriously contemplated suicide in all these times of crisis, and I'm guessing a certain percentage of people in this type of situation won't make it through. Whether it's ethical to force them to deal with an even more awful reality in hopes that they'll become stronger is questionable, but I believe it's sometimes necessary, because many people with depression/anxiety don't really live anyway. I'm personally glad that not everyone tolerated my unhealthy lifestyle and outlook on life, otherwise I'd still be living with my parents without a job and without having seen anything other than the inside of my bedroom.