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Listening is everything. Turn off the problem solver part of your brain and just experience their emotions and listen. Ask questions based on what they have sai

by ceedan 5y ago

Listening is everything. Turn off the problem solver part of your brain and just experience their emotions and listen. Ask questions based on what they have said, try not to assume or think 2 steps ahead. Going through different medications with your partner is rough too. The side effects suck, and some medicine doesnt help or makes things worse. Trintellix helped my partner, after 2 or 3 others failed medications. Those were a tough few months. My recent 2 cents for partners, try taking a personality test on behalf of your partner. The results, may give you some better understanding of them... Especially if they are reserved and unwilling to open up and whatnot. I've done this recently and I'm quite surprised by the accuracy of a lot of the content that I read about different personality types. For some in my family, reading descriptions of their personalities has been comically accurate. Maybe reading about their personalities just helps me to think more objectively and clearly about their own emotions, rather than getting it all mixed up in my own emotions. You can search like "INTJ unhappiness" and read up on their perspective. Maybe this all sounds dumb to you, but just give it at shot. At the least it'll be kind of fun to take the test on their behalf and see what the results are like.

NicoJuicy 5y ago
I suppose the situation is that your partner is INTJ and almost apathic to living in the now and focused on the future? Can i ask what improved the situation ?
- ceedan 5y ago
  I'm so sorry, my partner was actually INFJ. I just put a random one there. My INFJ issues were related to perfectionism. We went to therapy together, and it helped.. would reccomend. Therapy is a great safe place to ask them "dumb" questions about their behavior and thoughts. If you're not at that point yet, keep researching about their brand of unhappiness and see if any suggestions come up.
joshgrib 5y ago
Just want to add that I think these are useful to get general ideas of what different personality traits there are, but there's little to no science backing the Meyers-Briggs assessment. These type of tests can be nice framework for a starting point, but you should never rely on them to predict how someone will act in the future more than you would astrology. https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/does-the-myers-briggs-test-really-work/ https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/does-the-myers-b... For background - the test was created by a mother-daughter team who were authors but with no background in psychology. They were inspired to create the test, but they couldn't convince any psychologists it was legitimate so they instead sold it to businesses as a way to assess employee strengths and weaknesses. https://allthatsinteresting.com/myers-briggs-test https://allthatsinteresting.com/myers-briggs-test https://www.huffpost.com/entry/myers-briggs-personality-test-creators_n_5b97b145e4b0511db3e61e41 https://www.huffpost.com/entry/myers-briggs-personality-test... > As Emre explains, the test has become part of our neoliberal discourse about making yourself into a commodity, selling your personality, loving what you do > It seems their ideas about personality and gender made them blind to structural problems so that they saw gender inequality as an individual problem. Kinda unrelated to this discussion, but there's also this darker side to all these personality tests where they encourage people to fit into a certain role because it benefits a company and not because it's who they really are.

by ceedan 5y ago

NicoJuicy 5y ago

I suppose the situation is that your partner is INTJ and almost apathic to living in the now and focused on the future? Can i ask what improved the situation ?

ceedan 5y ago
I'm so sorry, my partner was actually INFJ. I just put a random one there. My INFJ issues were related to perfectionism. We went to therapy together, and it helped.. would reccomend. Therapy is a great safe place to ask them "dumb" questions about their behavior and thoughts. If you're not at that point yet, keep researching about their brand of unhappiness and see if any suggestions come up.

joshgrib 5y ago

Just want to add that I think these are useful to get general ideas of what different personality traits there are, but there's little to no science backing the Meyers-Briggs assessment. These type of tests can be nice framework for a starting point, but you should never rely on them to predict how someone will act in the future more than you would astrology. https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/does-the-myers-briggs-test-really-work/ https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/does-the-myers-b... For background - the test was created by a mother-daughter team who were authors but with no background in psychology. They were inspired to create the test, but they couldn't convince any psychologists it was legitimate so they instead sold it to businesses as a way to assess employee strengths and weaknesses. https://allthatsinteresting.com/myers-briggs-test https://allthatsinteresting.com/myers-briggs-test https://www.huffpost.com/entry/myers-briggs-personality-test-creators_n_5b97b145e4b0511db3e61e41 https://www.huffpost.com/entry/myers-briggs-personality-test... > As Emre explains, the test has become part of our neoliberal discourse about making yourself into a commodity, selling your personality, loving what you do > It seems their ideas about personality and gender made them blind to structural problems so that they saw gender inequality as an individual problem. Kinda unrelated to this discussion, but there's also this darker side to all these personality tests where they encourage people to fit into a certain role because it benefits a company and not because it's who they really are.