I'm glad to hear you are in therapy; that's a good start. Have you had a medical workup? Can you go to your therapist twice a week? It sounds like you have a

I'm glad to hear you are in therapy; that's a good start. Have you had a medical workup? Can you go to your therapist twice a week? It sounds like you have a lot to work through. Can you bring your SO to therapy at least once just to see how desperate your situation is? I've been in a similar situation and I realized one morning, while shoveling snow, that I would prefer to shovel the whole street instead of doing what I was supposed to be doing. I found that physical activity made a big difference for me; if nothing else go for some brisk walks. Hang in there - you can make it.