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I think the overarching message with this post is right on whenever you are talking to someone who is struggling: listen, love, and don't judge. A hug is much b

by magpi3 5y ago

I think the overarching message with this post is right on whenever you are talking to someone who is struggling: listen, love, and don't judge. A hug is much better than a suggestion on how the family member can "fix" themselves. I also want to put a plug in for dogs. I have struggled with depression on and off in my life, and two years ago I adopted a dog I saw being abused in the street. She was just a little puppy, and I absolutely did not want anything to do with raising a dog at the time, but I felt I had no choice. I picked her up and took her home. Since then I have not been able to sleep past 7am in the morning without these two little eyes staring me down. But it is wonderful. She gives me relentless love every day, and she gave my life a really healthy structure it desperately needed. We go on walks three times a day looking for her doggy friends. I spent a lot more time in nature, because she doesn't give a damn for computers or video games. I know even some people look down on me for how much I love my dog, but they have no idea what I was like before. This dog saved my ass. Now it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to just lie in bed, and that is a great thing, not a bad thing.

GreenWatermelon 5y ago
I like down on people who look down on animal lovers. The love you get from animals (dogs, cats, etc...) is pure. These creatures are incapable of malice and wrong, and their desires are simple. Accordingly, Animals (and children) are the only creatures to which I can give unconditional love.
tartoran 5y ago
I ‘borrowed’ my friends dog when I was going through some darker times in my life during a burnout. We went for long walks every day for a few weeks and feel that it helped out tremendously. Without that forced structure I would have prolonged my suffering, probably starring at the ceiling ruminating on the same thoughts all day long. It worked for me, it worked out for the dog and it worked out for my friends whose time and attention was largely taken by their child. Likewise, my mother was forced to adopt a dog in a similar fashion as you, she wasn’t eager to get a dog but in hindsight she’s benefitted greatly from it, phisically and emotionally.
stavros 5y ago
Dogs are amazing. I found mine on the street too, though she would wait for me to get up before she came over to play, she never woke me up. Now she's an old lady with hearing problems, but she's still amazing and super smart. https://youtu.be/COIVkkHxNR0 https://youtu.be/COIVkkHxNR0
- skellera 5y ago
  Don’t have much to add but that’s an adorable dog.
  - stavros 5y ago
    Thank you! She really is.
cm2012 5y ago
Just want to say that dogs are not a magical panacea. I've seen them make life worse for depressed people (many dogs have behavioral problems that a depressed person is not equipped to deal with). If you're on the fence about taking on the responsibility of pet ownership, I'd lean towards the side of not getting one. Some of the problems I've seen with people who've adopted dogs: 1) One dog got scared by a loud firework and now runs home from walks at any sudden sound, and won't even go out at all in many conditions, leading to great stress. 2) One dog has separation anxiety and shits everywhere if left alone too long. 3) One dog owner is depressed and doesn't walk her little dog, instead relying on wee wee pads, but the dog ignores them so the apartment is disgusting. 4) One has to wear a muzzle and chain harness on every walk and only the husband can walk him, since he goes berserk if he sees other dogs. Etc. And all except number 3 above are people who are good with dogs, did everything you're supposed to do, consulted with trainers, etc. Look at the Biden's dog, Hunter - all the money in the world for training, a patient family and they couldn't fix his issues. And then there's people out there who blame the owner/blame the victim when a dog makes the owner's life worse. "You must be just doing something wrong." So again, if you're depressed, you might get lucky with a dog, but don't blame yourself if you have to rehome it.
- DrBoring 5y ago
  Small polite correction: Hunter Biden is one of Joe Biden's sons from his first wife. The German Shepherds are named Major and Champ.
  - cm2012 5y ago
    Thanks, too late to edit but appreciated!
    - jjeaff 5y ago
      Hilarious. I was so confused at why anyone would name a dog after someone in the family. I was already running through my head a scenario like on King of the Hill where Hank Hill's father, Cotton, decides to name his newborn son Hank and refers to him as "Good Hank".

by magpi3 5y ago

GreenWatermelon 5y ago

I like down on people who look down on animal lovers. The love you get from animals (dogs, cats, etc...) is pure. These creatures are incapable of malice and wrong, and their desires are simple. Accordingly, Animals (and children) are the only creatures to which I can give unconditional love.

tartoran 5y ago

I ‘borrowed’ my friends dog when I was going through some darker times in my life during a burnout. We went for long walks every day for a few weeks and feel that it helped out tremendously. Without that forced structure I would have prolonged my suffering, probably starring at the ceiling ruminating on the same thoughts all day long. It worked for me, it worked out for the dog and it worked out for my friends whose time and attention was largely taken by their child. Likewise, my mother was forced to adopt a dog in a similar fashion as you, she wasn’t eager to get a dog but in hindsight she’s benefitted greatly from it, phisically and emotionally.

stavros 5y ago

Dogs are amazing. I found mine on the street too, though she would wait for me to get up before she came over to play, she never woke me up. Now she's an old lady with hearing problems, but she's still amazing and super smart. https://youtu.be/COIVkkHxNR0 https://youtu.be/COIVkkHxNR0

skellera 5y ago
Don’t have much to add but that’s an adorable dog.
- stavros 5y ago
  Thank you! She really is.

cm2012 5y ago

Just want to say that dogs are not a magical panacea. I've seen them make life worse for depressed people (many dogs have behavioral problems that a depressed person is not equipped to deal with). If you're on the fence about taking on the responsibility of pet ownership, I'd lean towards the side of not getting one. Some of the problems I've seen with people who've adopted dogs: 1) One dog got scared by a loud firework and now runs home from walks at any sudden sound, and won't even go out at all in many conditions, leading to great stress. 2) One dog has separation anxiety and shits everywhere if left alone too long. 3) One dog owner is depressed and doesn't walk her little dog, instead relying on wee wee pads, but the dog ignores them so the apartment is disgusting. 4) One has to wear a muzzle and chain harness on every walk and only the husband can walk him, since he goes berserk if he sees other dogs. Etc. And all except number 3 above are people who are good with dogs, did everything you're supposed to do, consulted with trainers, etc. Look at the Biden's dog, Hunter - all the money in the world for training, a patient family and they couldn't fix his issues. And then there's people out there who blame the owner/blame the victim when a dog makes the owner's life worse. "You must be just doing something wrong." So again, if you're depressed, you might get lucky with a dog, but don't blame yourself if you have to rehome it.

DrBoring 5y ago
Small polite correction: Hunter Biden is one of Joe Biden's sons from his first wife. The German Shepherds are named Major and Champ.
- cm2012 5y ago
  Thanks, too late to edit but appreciated!
  - jjeaff 5y ago
    Hilarious. I was so confused at why anyone would name a dog after someone in the family. I was already running through my head a scenario like on King of the Hill where Hank Hill's father, Cotton, decides to name his newborn son Hank and refers to him as "Good Hank".