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Are toys, play, tv time, dessert… privileges? Turns out that humans learn by example. In other words, the lesson of such punishing actions is that bullying, ul
by andrei_says_ 5y ago
Are toys, play, tv time, dessert… privileges?
Turns out that humans learn by example. In other words, the lesson of such punishing actions is that bullying, ultimatums and generally exerting control over others, especially ones with less power, is the proper way to achieve one’s goals.
Is this the desired lesson?
Some additional outcomes are the loss of trust for the parent and the need to constantly police behavior.
- sangnoir 5y agoSecond order effects are sometimes unavoidable when driving towards a primary goal. Talking through issues requires a level of mental maturity and self-control, which needs to be built-up first
- andrei_says_ 5y agoIs not doing something of fear of punishment the kind of self-control which would be useful in the absence of punishment? Drivers respect the speed limit while driving next to a police car. Does this mean that they will do so in its absence? Did the policing reform them?
- sangnoir 5y agoConditioning and reinforcement are well-studied in human and animal behavior. I'm not going to engage in hypotheticals or wondering if it works, when there is a large body of work you can consult.
- andrei_says_ 5y agoThe largest body of work I know of is Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn, with over 50 pages of citations of studies proving over and over that coercive methods simply do not work on humans. Extrinsic motivation does not magically transform into intrinsic motivation. Instead, coercion causes irreparable harm on parent/child relationships and damages intrinsic motivation. Humans are not birds nor rats so conditioning and reinforcement do not work as intended. They do work to give the enforcer a sense of power and sadistic pleasure but do not teach anything valuable beyond “violence and bullying work.” Are these your primary goals?