The limits of empathy. I got into a situation with a friend who I now assume has ADHD. I’d not noticed before, because our circumstances didn’t reveal it. We w

The limits of empathy. I got into a situation with a friend who I now assume has ADHD. I’d not noticed before, because our circumstances didn’t reveal it. We were just dog owners, and our dogs were friends. Then I invited her to stay at my beach house for a week, in gratitude for her minding my dog. While there, she initiated significant renovations, ripping up the carpet, removing the vertical blinds. But she didn’t finish most of the tasks! 3 weeks later the curtains were only half done and the place was unrentable. Her response? Start new projects, also incomplete. I tried to understand through empathy, but I realised I’m not able to imagine what’s going on in her thoughts. Maybe that’s always the way. I’m thinking empathy is only really possible when you’re sure the other person thinks the same as you. I’d never recognised the need to calibrate this.