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Old people on their death bed are telling us what they want to do now, couched as what they would have wanted to do. But they made the decisions they did for re

Old people on their death bed are telling us what they want to do now, couched as what they would have wanted to do. But they made the decisions they did for reasons that seemed good at the time, and it might well be that they'd make the same ones. Wishing things were different is not the same as a plan to make them different. Or, as I've said about this before: why worry about what death-bed you wants? That person literally has no future, but you do have a future to worry about!

asddubs 5y ago
That's funny, and a good point. Although I think the whole deathbed thing is more of a framework for figuring out what you want, now, without over-prioritizing preparing for the future
dragonwriter 5y ago
> why worry about what death-bed you wants? That person literally has no future, but you do have a future to worry about! Because death-bed you is the one that knows whether what to present-you is the future worked out satisfactorily or disappointingly.
buran77 5y ago
I probably said this before. The deathbed perspective is an exercise of taking your entire life experiences and distilling them to get a concrete core as seen from the "final checkpoint". The key is knowing that there will be no future experiences to alter the result, and that makes the determination as final and as accurate as it can ever reasonably be. It's not a decision making tool, it can't be used to alter the future. It's a conclusion, a punchline. But if you want to see what's important now that's a decision, a seed for your future, and it's open to change and evolution. This cannot be more different from a real deathbed perspective. So taking this decision by imagining one of infinite possibilities of your future up to your distant deathbed makes no sense. Even meeting your future self wouldn't give good insights on any "road not taken". An imagined, relatively random, and distant future outcome can't help you decide what's best in the present more than flipping a coin will. The people drawing these conclusions may have no future but they do have the entire past. When you ask for a game review you're more likely to go for one coming from someone who's finished the game rather than someone who played the tutorial. That deathbed conclusion is meant to pass on what were the best and worst parts, not what should have been done differently because finishing the game means you know the outcome of exactly one of the possible move combinations. So if most old gamers say a particular mission deserves attention it's not a guarantee it does but it's a strong indication.
rowanajmarshall 5y ago
It's basically a local maxima problem. You optimise for what seems best at the time, not what will be optimal over a longer period of time.
JKCalhoun 5y ago
> Old people on their death bed are telling us what they want to do now… Are they? I assumed they were telling you what has given the most fulfillment, what were their wisest decisions now that they can Monday-morning quarterback. When I tell my kids my home has been my greatest financial asset and I wish I had bought a home earlier, I am not wishing to buy another home now. > But they made the decisions they did for reasons that seemed good at the time… Agree, but the point is that they have hindsight now and, had they this knowledge 50 years ago, they believe the calculus driving those decisions likely would have been different. I wish I had asked my older relatives more about their younger days before they died and took those experiences with them to their graves. I am very much into recording our family genealogy for my children and future generations and I have lost a trove of valuable narratives because I turned to genealogy too late in my life. I use it as another example of legitimately wishing I had made different decisions earlier in my life.

asddubs 5y ago

That's funny, and a good point. Although I think the whole deathbed thing is more of a framework for figuring out what you want, now, without over-prioritizing preparing for the future

dragonwriter 5y ago

> why worry about what death-bed you wants? That person literally has no future, but you do have a future to worry about! Because death-bed you is the one that knows whether what to present-you is the future worked out satisfactorily or disappointingly.

buran77 5y ago

I probably said this before. The deathbed perspective is an exercise of taking your entire life experiences and distilling them to get a concrete core as seen from the "final checkpoint". The key is knowing that there will be no future experiences to alter the result, and that makes the determination as final and as accurate as it can ever reasonably be. It's not a decision making tool, it can't be used to alter the future. It's a conclusion, a punchline. But if you want to see what's important now that's a decision, a seed for your future, and it's open to change and evolution. This cannot be more different from a real deathbed perspective. So taking this decision by imagining one of infinite possibilities of your future up to your distant deathbed makes no sense. Even meeting your future self wouldn't give good insights on any "road not taken". An imagined, relatively random, and distant future outcome can't help you decide what's best in the present more than flipping a coin will. The people drawing these conclusions may have no future but they do have the entire past. When you ask for a game review you're more likely to go for one coming from someone who's finished the game rather than someone who played the tutorial. That deathbed conclusion is meant to pass on what were the best and worst parts, not what should have been done differently because finishing the game means you know the outcome of exactly one of the possible move combinations. So if most old gamers say a particular mission deserves attention it's not a guarantee it does but it's a strong indication.

rowanajmarshall 5y ago

It's basically a local maxima problem. You optimise for what seems best at the time, not what will be optimal over a longer period of time.

JKCalhoun 5y ago

> Old people on their death bed are telling us what they want to do now… Are they? I assumed they were telling you what has given the most fulfillment, what were their wisest decisions now that they can Monday-morning quarterback. When I tell my kids my home has been my greatest financial asset and I wish I had bought a home earlier, I am not wishing to buy another home now. > But they made the decisions they did for reasons that seemed good at the time… Agree, but the point is that they have hindsight now and, had they this knowledge 50 years ago, they believe the calculus driving those decisions likely would have been different. I wish I had asked my older relatives more about their younger days before they died and took those experiences with them to their graves. I am very much into recording our family genealogy for my children and future generations and I have lost a trove of valuable narratives because I turned to genealogy too late in my life. I use it as another example of legitimately wishing I had made different decisions earlier in my life.