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Until you've learned to notice automated judgment and unlearned automatically running with it, it'll take more analysis to answer the question. You may have ge

Until you've learned to notice automated judgment and unlearned automatically running with it, it'll take more analysis to answer the question. You may have genuine needs being denied by the activities. You may have unacknowledged trauma patterns matching with some aspect of the activities. You may have socially conditioned judgments moving too fast for you to currently notice. Do you want a simple practice in noticing and unlearning such judgments?

monissiddiqui 5y ago
Please share the practise of noticing and unlearning the judgments! Sounds intriguing.
- codr7 5y ago
  It's very simple, and yet difficult enough that most won't do it by free will. The ones that do are very likely to have tried all other options. Because it involves seeing things for what they are, changing perceptions, letting go, forgiving, facing pushed down trauma and all sorts of nasty, emotional stuff. But the method is as simple as it gets: remove all inputs, stay completely still, close your eyes, observe your body breathing all by itself, and wait, and have patience with yourself, it takes practice. It's very much like establishing a connection; the method will allow you to reach deeper from where you are right now, but with practice it becomes who you are. Self realization, or realizing who you really are; is a one way street, you can't go back. And it never ends, there's always more to discover. You can get glimpses using psychedelics but from my experience you still have to do the work to fill in the blanks if you really want to know the truth. Maybe the more shamanic ones like Ayahuasca, but I count that as doing pretty intense work.
  - ferw 5y ago
    I'm assuming that you are talking about the practice of meditation. If you are an avid practitioner, I have a question for you. I have attempted following some one-size-fits-all solutions before, Headspace and others, and only when I broke through the time limitations, and managed to meditate for over an hour, have I seen any progress. My issue is that my ability to focus is not constant, and on most days I can't manage to get in the zone for more than an hour. Do you think there is any benefit to short bursts of meditation, or is the real treasure buried deep, and you essentially have to live in an ashram or a Buddhist temple and meditate daily for multiple hours to get to the level you are mentioning in your post?
    - codr7 5y ago
      Indeed, but the word means so many things these days and they all sort of miss the point from my perspective. I stayed for six months in an ashram [1] way out in the middle of nowhere, I'm sure that helped a lot. It takes more time in the beginning, time for the mind to wind down, time to figure out which way is up, we did 4h sessions every morning in the ashram and 1h sessions regularly during the day. But every step in that direction; I feel that regular practice is more important; and quality over quantity, 5 minutes of awareness is worth more than sitting for 1h with your eyes closed and worrying about this and that. [1] https://www.yogameditation.com/ https://www.yogameditation.com/
- crawfordcomeaux 5y ago
  I responded with the instructions to someone else who responded to the offer. Joyful experimentation!
ssklash 5y ago
I'd be interested in hearing details on this practice.
- crawfordcomeaux 5y ago
  I call this a Self-Healing Reality-Untangling Gesture (SHRUG). Here's what I did: 1) Choose to believe it's possible to joyfully abandon all judgment. 2) Choose to do so for some internally/intrinsically motivating reason(s). I chose to do it for science and for learning Nonviolent Communication. 3) Every time one hears, thinks, or reads a word with an opposite (the "trigger word", do this: While performing a gesture that conveys uncertainty (I literally shrugged my shoulders while putting my hand out, palms up), say something following this speech pattern: "meh...<trigger word>...<opposite of trigger word>...meh...<reframing of what was said in terms of descriptive observations without words with opposites/judgment, related non-blaming/judgmental feelings coming up related to the observations, and the underlying human needs being expressed through the feelings>...<request for confirmation that the reframing was accurate>." Notes: A) It's very helpful to familiarize yourself with Nonviolent Communication and to identify feelings and needs. And if not, carrying around a list of feelings and needs (I find longer lists to be more useful to gain deeper nuance...if anxiety arises around long lists, sit and breathe through it...take time and patience with the process...learning new things often comes with initial frustrations and anxieties until one gets comfortable with learning new things without judgment/expectations. In a sense, discomfort from the long lists is good fortune because it gives an immediate thingt o practice with: "meh...long...short...meh...this human body is complex. I feel uncomfortable with not knowing what some of these words even mean and with taking time to process myself this way. I'm needing patience, to learn more about my feelings and needs, and self-compassion. This is definitely meeting my need for challenge and I can learn to enjoy the process, which can help meet my need for effectiveness in the context of learning." B) If one recalls a time in the past when one encountered a trigger and didn't SHRUG, then immediately SHRUG C) Maybe this can be done silently in the head or through writing, and I did it aloud. My thinking around this is the brain gets to process the SHRUG through both the initial thinking as well as through hearing it being spoken. Could maybe string all the things together, so writing it, internally speaking it, and externally speaking it. D) Let people know you're doing this, unless you're wanting to also learn how to navigate people offending themselves because the initial part of the process involves dismissal of something they've said. Another example trigger phrase: "That site's UX is so cool!" Response: "meh... cool...uncool...meh... I'm noticing novel design patterns that are the opposite of dark patterns and feel grateful someone's out there meeting the need for mindfulness through their designs." Another example: "I don't like seafood. " Response: shrug "meh...like...dislike...I can learn to enjoy eating food that nourishes this body" I'm noticing there may be a more nuanced and broader description of the shrug than documented here, based on my examples. I'd love help trying to tease it out. If people share examples of judgments they're wanting to let go of, I'm happy to give my own reframings to help clarify the general pattern. Coming up with really clear instructions most people can understand is something I want to do in the coming days ago I can really spread this thing around. Do this every day for a month and then let me know what effects the process has had. I'm the only person I know who's done this and it was incredibly transformative. Especially helpful in accepting things a person under the age of 3 might do. I don't want to go into detail about the effects I experienced because I'm wanting to see what happens without setting expectations. Feel free to reach out to me through social media, email, and/or phone for support. Happy New Year and joyful shrugging!

monissiddiqui 5y ago

Please share the practise of noticing and unlearning the judgments! Sounds intriguing.

codr7 5y ago
It's very simple, and yet difficult enough that most won't do it by free will. The ones that do are very likely to have tried all other options. Because it involves seeing things for what they are, changing perceptions, letting go, forgiving, facing pushed down trauma and all sorts of nasty, emotional stuff. But the method is as simple as it gets: remove all inputs, stay completely still, close your eyes, observe your body breathing all by itself, and wait, and have patience with yourself, it takes practice. It's very much like establishing a connection; the method will allow you to reach deeper from where you are right now, but with practice it becomes who you are. Self realization, or realizing who you really are; is a one way street, you can't go back. And it never ends, there's always more to discover. You can get glimpses using psychedelics but from my experience you still have to do the work to fill in the blanks if you really want to know the truth. Maybe the more shamanic ones like Ayahuasca, but I count that as doing pretty intense work.
- ferw 5y ago
  I'm assuming that you are talking about the practice of meditation. If you are an avid practitioner, I have a question for you. I have attempted following some one-size-fits-all solutions before, Headspace and others, and only when I broke through the time limitations, and managed to meditate for over an hour, have I seen any progress. My issue is that my ability to focus is not constant, and on most days I can't manage to get in the zone for more than an hour. Do you think there is any benefit to short bursts of meditation, or is the real treasure buried deep, and you essentially have to live in an ashram or a Buddhist temple and meditate daily for multiple hours to get to the level you are mentioning in your post?
  - codr7 5y ago
    Indeed, but the word means so many things these days and they all sort of miss the point from my perspective. I stayed for six months in an ashram [1] way out in the middle of nowhere, I'm sure that helped a lot. It takes more time in the beginning, time for the mind to wind down, time to figure out which way is up, we did 4h sessions every morning in the ashram and 1h sessions regularly during the day. But every step in that direction; I feel that regular practice is more important; and quality over quantity, 5 minutes of awareness is worth more than sitting for 1h with your eyes closed and worrying about this and that. [1] https://www.yogameditation.com/ https://www.yogameditation.com/
crawfordcomeaux 5y ago
I responded with the instructions to someone else who responded to the offer. Joyful experimentation!

ssklash 5y ago

I'd be interested in hearing details on this practice.

crawfordcomeaux 5y ago
I call this a Self-Healing Reality-Untangling Gesture (SHRUG). Here's what I did: 1) Choose to believe it's possible to joyfully abandon all judgment. 2) Choose to do so for some internally/intrinsically motivating reason(s). I chose to do it for science and for learning Nonviolent Communication. 3) Every time one hears, thinks, or reads a word with an opposite (the "trigger word", do this: While performing a gesture that conveys uncertainty (I literally shrugged my shoulders while putting my hand out, palms up), say something following this speech pattern: "meh...<trigger word>...<opposite of trigger word>...meh...<reframing of what was said in terms of descriptive observations without words with opposites/judgment, related non-blaming/judgmental feelings coming up related to the observations, and the underlying human needs being expressed through the feelings>...<request for confirmation that the reframing was accurate>." Notes: A) It's very helpful to familiarize yourself with Nonviolent Communication and to identify feelings and needs. And if not, carrying around a list of feelings and needs (I find longer lists to be more useful to gain deeper nuance...if anxiety arises around long lists, sit and breathe through it...take time and patience with the process...learning new things often comes with initial frustrations and anxieties until one gets comfortable with learning new things without judgment/expectations. In a sense, discomfort from the long lists is good fortune because it gives an immediate thingt o practice with: "meh...long...short...meh...this human body is complex. I feel uncomfortable with not knowing what some of these words even mean and with taking time to process myself this way. I'm needing patience, to learn more about my feelings and needs, and self-compassion. This is definitely meeting my need for challenge and I can learn to enjoy the process, which can help meet my need for effectiveness in the context of learning." B) If one recalls a time in the past when one encountered a trigger and didn't SHRUG, then immediately SHRUG C) Maybe this can be done silently in the head or through writing, and I did it aloud. My thinking around this is the brain gets to process the SHRUG through both the initial thinking as well as through hearing it being spoken. Could maybe string all the things together, so writing it, internally speaking it, and externally speaking it. D) Let people know you're doing this, unless you're wanting to also learn how to navigate people offending themselves because the initial part of the process involves dismissal of something they've said. Another example trigger phrase: "That site's UX is so cool!" Response: "meh... cool...uncool...meh... I'm noticing novel design patterns that are the opposite of dark patterns and feel grateful someone's out there meeting the need for mindfulness through their designs." Another example: "I don't like seafood. " Response: shrug "meh...like...dislike...I can learn to enjoy eating food that nourishes this body" I'm noticing there may be a more nuanced and broader description of the shrug than documented here, based on my examples. I'd love help trying to tease it out. If people share examples of judgments they're wanting to let go of, I'm happy to give my own reframings to help clarify the general pattern. Coming up with really clear instructions most people can understand is something I want to do in the coming days ago I can really spread this thing around. Do this every day for a month and then let me know what effects the process has had. I'm the only person I know who's done this and it was incredibly transformative. Especially helpful in accepting things a person under the age of 3 might do. I don't want to go into detail about the effects I experienced because I'm wanting to see what happens without setting expectations. Feel free to reach out to me through social media, email, and/or phone for support. Happy New Year and joyful shrugging!