> If so, which approaches or resources were helpful to you? For me the issue was one of being too selective and fearful. I would analyze people the way people

> If so, which approaches or resources were helpful to you? For me the issue was one of being too selective and fearful. I would analyze people the way people analyze resumes, trying to read between the lines for facts that in reality are not in evidence. So, because I was afraid of rejection, this led to a bit of a spiral, where caution led to expecting the worst, and then noticing every fault. I had moved out on my own, and was really lonely, working as a lab device repair engineer (I had spend four years prior writing software for 80s era diagnostic devices) in a town where I knew no one. One day I decided to try something completely new: I'd just accept the people in my life as "my team", be nice to them and try to be helpful, and see what happened. So instead of worrying about if the person was good or bad, I started figuring out what the people that were around me liked and disliked so I could be nice. I also decided that my default answer for social interaction would always be yes. So where I'd find an excuse not to go to lunch with coworkers, I'd say yes. Little stuff like getting a coffee for a coworker when I went to get mine. Saying good morning, and asking "are you having a good day?" to the ever-changing lady at the front desk. It didn't matter what she said, I'd just listen and say something sympathetic. At the end of the day, I'd tell the people that sat near me in the office that I was leaving. It took all of three days for people that I only interacted professionally with to really warm up. People asked if I wanted to grab lunch. At the end of the day I got invited to grab a beer, go work out, or go to a sports event. I said yes every time - even if it was something I had zero personal interest in. I would go, and soak up the experience, listening to them talk about themselves, their problems, and when they asked me about me, I'd answer honestly. So in short, stop judging, accept the people already in your life, say yes, go to lunch with people, go to social events, be honest, and most importantly be a good listener.