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Stuff that helped me: Realize that any relationship requires effort from both sides. When was the last time you reached out to someone, checked in etc. Talkin

Stuff that helped me: Realize that any relationship requires effort from both sides. When was the last time you reached out to someone, checked in etc. Talking to people who are not from my industry also helped me gain insight as to how others think, feel etc. More well rounded, have people who are like you but seek others who are different Hobbies, Volunteer efforts have been the best ways for me to gain more friends

chousuke 5y ago
How do you find things that you can put effort into? And even if I had something to put effort into, how do you actually do that? I pretty much constantly feel like I have no idea what I actually want to do, and when I think about possibly intentionally doing something, it feels "fake" to me. On top of that there's a strong "anti-motivation" to just do nothing. My brain seems to offer no assistance in figuring out what to do even after I manage to get something started (it often does the opposite), so it usually leads nowhere.
- bilal4hmed 5y ago
  I relate to that, I ran in to analysis paralysis phase and found myself wanting to do everything. So I wrote down a few things I wanted to do such as contribute code to OSS, volunteer at events, better stock / financial planning research etc. Then I picked up the top 3 and did something small such as check in code or read code a few hours on a Saturday, find a an activity using Facebook ( you can replace with any other website but I found good luck with FB ), pick two reddit thread and READ thoroughly. I gave each one of them two or three tries and then determined to continue with the item or discard and move on to next. For the social part or the "anti-motivation" , I would often times find my mind going "this is a waste, bail out and head home, relax". I learnt to catch that feeling right at the beginning and thinking about "this is how I grow, this is how I meet new people, learn a new skill, overcome a fear" and then roll on to meet my commitment. This method, combined with strict boundaries around time, trial and error has helped me tremendously. I am open to suggestions if others have faced this, but this is what worked with me. Small steps, a lot of time and patience with myself, rinse & repeat. Hopefully it helps. The most important part is to try, show up, attempt...that itself is half the battle.
- Smaug123 5y ago
  Do check whether you're clinically depressed - it's not particularly likely (I wouldn't call it probable), but there's a chance your anti-motivation is of a pattern that is easily treated chemically.

chousuke 5y ago

How do you find things that you can put effort into? And even if I had something to put effort into, how do you actually do that? I pretty much constantly feel like I have no idea what I actually want to do, and when I think about possibly intentionally doing something, it feels "fake" to me. On top of that there's a strong "anti-motivation" to just do nothing. My brain seems to offer no assistance in figuring out what to do even after I manage to get something started (it often does the opposite), so it usually leads nowhere.

bilal4hmed 5y ago
I relate to that, I ran in to analysis paralysis phase and found myself wanting to do everything. So I wrote down a few things I wanted to do such as contribute code to OSS, volunteer at events, better stock / financial planning research etc. Then I picked up the top 3 and did something small such as check in code or read code a few hours on a Saturday, find a an activity using Facebook ( you can replace with any other website but I found good luck with FB ), pick two reddit thread and READ thoroughly. I gave each one of them two or three tries and then determined to continue with the item or discard and move on to next. For the social part or the "anti-motivation" , I would often times find my mind going "this is a waste, bail out and head home, relax". I learnt to catch that feeling right at the beginning and thinking about "this is how I grow, this is how I meet new people, learn a new skill, overcome a fear" and then roll on to meet my commitment. This method, combined with strict boundaries around time, trial and error has helped me tremendously. I am open to suggestions if others have faced this, but this is what worked with me. Small steps, a lot of time and patience with myself, rinse & repeat. Hopefully it helps. The most important part is to try, show up, attempt...that itself is half the battle.
Smaug123 5y ago
Do check whether you're clinically depressed - it's not particularly likely (I wouldn't call it probable), but there's a chance your anti-motivation is of a pattern that is easily treated chemically.