The key here is "work my ass off". Even if you want to work, limit that part off and put that energy into training (like swimming e.g.). I know that sounds dull

The key here is "work my ass off". Even if you want to work, limit that part off and put that energy into training (like swimming e.g.). I know that sounds dull, but dull is better than not getting up from bed. If you are going to make it without the meds to stabilize, do limit the time you work in a manner that you don't fall in those cycles. A well put metaphore I've heard is that you got a set of forks which you use daily. Make sure you don't run out of them. The problem is that it feels so great just using them all when you get a new clean batch after a couple of days of downtime.. Good for you that you are aiming for stability. Setting a structure and planning for mentally tough parts of the day (like social events) and never parting from that can make a total difference in life quality. It would for anyone obviously, but with living on some spectrum it's a life ingredient. Yeah, it's tough, and yes your life (as in with great life quality) depends on it.