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I feel like I'm not caught up on some vocabulary here. What does it mean to be a victim of a narcissist? I know narcissist is someone who has an excessive inte

I feel like I'm not caught up on some vocabulary here. What does it mean to be a victim of a narcissist? I know narcissist is someone who has an excessive interest or admiration for themselves, but how is a 3rd party victim to that?

chadcmulligan 5y ago
Narcissists have admiration for themselves but they need others around them to mirror these feelings - to say they're great basically, because they're a bit broken inside. To do this they go to extraordinary lengths to keep people in their orbit tied to them somehow, and they can be very good at making people feel inadequate so they stay in their orbit and to convince themselves they are better than everyone else. if you haven't experienced it then consider yourself lucky they have a talent for warping reality so that everything revolves around them. The site talks about children of narcissists and how they are screwed up to make the parent seem better - the phrase "you're always a disappointment" or an embarrassment is something a narcissist parent would say to their child for example. Edit: psychology today has lots of interesting info e.g. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/200601/field-guide-narcissism https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/200601/field-gui...
- DarylZero 5y ago
  Questionable whether narcissists really even admire themselves. Covert narcissism seems more about believing you're a victim and your feelings are the only important ones because of that. Even overt narcissism is more like deep insecurity than self-admiration. Self-centered and self-important for sure.
DarylZero 5y ago
Narcissists here really means people with narcissistic personality disorder. There are numerous personality disorders. Personality disorder is a kind of arrested development, a failure to grow up and develop a normal personality. Narcissism is one particular failure mode. Narcissists victimize and abuse people all the time and then impose on others the ego defense mechanisms that they employ internally to deflect information that would help them mature. I.e., they deny reality to themselves, and gaslight others.
denton-scratch 5y ago
Narcissism is a component of a healthy personality. NPD is different.

chadcmulligan 5y ago

Narcissists have admiration for themselves but they need others around them to mirror these feelings - to say they're great basically, because they're a bit broken inside. To do this they go to extraordinary lengths to keep people in their orbit tied to them somehow, and they can be very good at making people feel inadequate so they stay in their orbit and to convince themselves they are better than everyone else. if you haven't experienced it then consider yourself lucky they have a talent for warping reality so that everything revolves around them. The site talks about children of narcissists and how they are screwed up to make the parent seem better - the phrase "you're always a disappointment" or an embarrassment is something a narcissist parent would say to their child for example. Edit: psychology today has lots of interesting info e.g. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/200601/field-guide-narcissism https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/200601/field-gui...

DarylZero 5y ago
Questionable whether narcissists really even admire themselves. Covert narcissism seems more about believing you're a victim and your feelings are the only important ones because of that. Even overt narcissism is more like deep insecurity than self-admiration. Self-centered and self-important for sure.

DarylZero 5y ago

Narcissists here really means people with narcissistic personality disorder. There are numerous personality disorders. Personality disorder is a kind of arrested development, a failure to grow up and develop a normal personality. Narcissism is one particular failure mode. Narcissists victimize and abuse people all the time and then impose on others the ego defense mechanisms that they employ internally to deflect information that would help them mature. I.e., they deny reality to themselves, and gaslight others.

denton-scratch 5y ago

Narcissism is a component of a healthy personality. NPD is different.