> Instead of learning about themselves and developing a strong, cohe-sive self in early childhood, emotionally immature people learned that certain f

> Instead of learning about themselves and developing a strong, cohe-sive self in early childhood, emotionally immature people learned that certain feelings were bad and forbidden. They unconsciously developed defenses against experiencing many of their deeper feelings. As a result, energies that could have gone toward developing a full self were instead devoted to suppressing their natural instincts, resulting in a limited capac-ity for emotional intimacy. The book is wrong in the same way once again. Because I remember by the time I was 16 years old I was entirely conscious of the idea that feelings were bad and had a conscious belief in the pro-active suppression of negative emotion, including through the use of drugs. I remember getting into an internet argument about the topic at that age. The only part I wasn't aware of was how completely fucked up dysfunctional it was.