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Or you have the reverse issue, where the child is abusive. I watched my step son berate his mom for almost a decade before she finally was able to end the toxic

Or you have the reverse issue, where the child is abusive. I watched my step son berate his mom for almost a decade before she finally was able to end the toxic relationship and cut him off for good. He was completely spoiled, was never physically or emotionally abused (he did most of the verbal abusing, often calling my wife a terrible mom, an abusive mom, worthless, useless, stupid, etc...). He also often physically tried to abuse his younger brother (my other step son). If you asked him today why he is estranged with his mom, he would tell you his mom is an awful abusive parent who never loved him and was the cause of all the issues. My wife and I know that he is just a toxic kid who never wanted to grow up (now 20, not in college, no job, his dad pays for everything so he can play video games 24/7). I think there are gonna be as many situations and nuances as there are people here.

visarga 5y ago
> I think there are gonna be as many situations and nuances as there are people here. If you think about it, what is the distribution of parents and children? It's the same with population in general. So all types of people become parents. Same for children, and you get n^2 types of relationships.
kingTug 5y ago
The world kind of blows now, I don't fault him for not wanting to join society. The traditional route of going to college and getting a big boy job is not the panacea it was for your generation.
- hcknwscommenter 5y ago
  I mean it kinda is the same panacea it was back then no? As in, it's not a panacea, but its a ton better than no job and just sucking off your parents largesse like a parasite.
- everdrive 5y ago
  The world can be pretty rough, but that doesn’t excuse making it someone else’s problem. It’s not like the parents in this situation aren’t operating under the same pressures.
tptacek 5y ago
The articles address this, and are not an assessment of the relative likelihood of parents being abusive versus children being abusive (in fact, both can be abusive at the same time).
3098827979 5y ago
Throwaway for obvious reasons. My older brother was convicted of murder, currently in prison serving a 40 year sentence, physically assaulted my mother and put her in hospital when he was a teenager, theft, drugs the whole lot. Even though she doesn't want much to do with him, she still can't bring herself to cut all ties. Parent-child ties are a strange dynamic.

visarga 5y ago

> I think there are gonna be as many situations and nuances as there are people here. If you think about it, what is the distribution of parents and children? It's the same with population in general. So all types of people become parents. Same for children, and you get n^2 types of relationships.

kingTug 5y ago

The world kind of blows now, I don't fault him for not wanting to join society. The traditional route of going to college and getting a big boy job is not the panacea it was for your generation.

hcknwscommenter 5y ago
I mean it kinda is the same panacea it was back then no? As in, it's not a panacea, but its a ton better than no job and just sucking off your parents largesse like a parasite.
everdrive 5y ago
The world can be pretty rough, but that doesn’t excuse making it someone else’s problem. It’s not like the parents in this situation aren’t operating under the same pressures.

tptacek 5y ago

The articles address this, and are not an assessment of the relative likelihood of parents being abusive versus children being abusive (in fact, both can be abusive at the same time).

3098827979 5y ago

Throwaway for obvious reasons. My older brother was convicted of murder, currently in prison serving a 40 year sentence, physically assaulted my mother and put her in hospital when he was a teenager, theft, drugs the whole lot. Even though she doesn't want much to do with him, she still can't bring herself to cut all ties. Parent-child ties are a strange dynamic.