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I’m sure this is true in many, or even most cases, but there are also cases where the grandparents do have the grandchild’s best interest at heart. Obviously th

by fmajid 5y ago

I’m sure this is true in many, or even most cases, but there are also cases where the grandparents do have the grandchild’s best interest at heart. Obviously those grandparents would not be on some forum where they get to expound on their sense of entitlement. Here in the UK, in the last month alone we’ve had the horrific cases of Arthur Labinjo-Hughes, 6 or Star Hobson, 1.5, both viciously murdered by their parent’s partner with the parent’s full complicity. In both cases the grandparents alerted social workers but were brushed off, with tragic results.

tptacek 5y ago
This series of articles spends a lot of time and energy differentiating ordinary estranged parents and grandparents from those who spend time campaigning on forums for estranged parents, and expands on a bunch of concerning reasons why parents can become estranged through no fault of their own; for instance, children can fall into drug addictions. It goes on to make the point that these forums seem to be actively alienating to those kinds of parents, who presumably seek support from forums dedicated to parents estranged due to addiction. The thru-line for the whole series is that participation in these forums is a powerful clue, all on its own, that abusive behavior is involved in the estrangement.
- fmajid 5y ago
  I understand, hence my caveat that the grandparents were not on those forums. What I worry about is when the undeniable existence of abusive grandparents is assumed by CPS or social workers as a universal and cause valid warnings to be overlooked.
  - tptacek 5y ago
    Another thing the articles repeatedly observe is the proclivity of parents on these forums to abuse these shared concerns about valid warnings in order to weaponize CPS and social workers against their estranged children. Examples include instances where the parents admit publicly that they lied to CPS in attempts to punish and control their own children.
  - taurath 5y ago
    Social workers require a /lot/ of training and education - please don’t assume that they’re by and large laypeople on these situations.
    - fmajid 5y ago
      They are also overworked and have to triage cases by their initial assessment of risk.

by fmajid 5y ago

tptacek 5y ago

This series of articles spends a lot of time and energy differentiating ordinary estranged parents and grandparents from those who spend time campaigning on forums for estranged parents, and expands on a bunch of concerning reasons why parents can become estranged through no fault of their own; for instance, children can fall into drug addictions. It goes on to make the point that these forums seem to be actively alienating to those kinds of parents, who presumably seek support from forums dedicated to parents estranged due to addiction. The thru-line for the whole series is that participation in these forums is a powerful clue, all on its own, that abusive behavior is involved in the estrangement.

fmajid 5y ago
I understand, hence my caveat that the grandparents were not on those forums. What I worry about is when the undeniable existence of abusive grandparents is assumed by CPS or social workers as a universal and cause valid warnings to be overlooked.
- tptacek 5y ago
  Another thing the articles repeatedly observe is the proclivity of parents on these forums to abuse these shared concerns about valid warnings in order to weaponize CPS and social workers against their estranged children. Examples include instances where the parents admit publicly that they lied to CPS in attempts to punish and control their own children.
- taurath 5y ago
  Social workers require a /lot/ of training and education - please don’t assume that they’re by and large laypeople on these situations.
  - fmajid 5y ago
    They are also overworked and have to triage cases by their initial assessment of risk.