Thank you for honest and brutal feedback. > First off, you think you're having a mental health crisis so you're going to HN for advice? I have seen a lot of t

Thank you for honest and brutal feedback. > First off, you think you're having a mental health crisis so you're going to HN for advice? I have seen a lot of these posts on HN and gained a lot of value from other people's experiences suggestions. Last night I went to bed feeling lost, but writing out this post and then reading reviews been really helpful. Yes a professional can help with mental health issues better than internet strangers but this is what I have for now. I will contemplate a bit more but I think I am close to seeing clear choice for me. > A. "Aggressively move into management" Why do you even think this is an option? I have seen many "I will never be a manager"-developers becoming managers, directors, VPs, both in smaller and larger companies. I think it is a skill that one can develop. One of my friend is a senior director at a 5000+ people company. He has been telling me I have natural leadership skills and I should move into management. Also I have held team lead roles several times, I also enjoyed mentoring junior developers. As a manager my biggest weakness would be project/time management. >. Again, so you're so good at what you do that you can just decide to become a thought leader. Doesn't hard work make you good at what you do? Thought leader is a loaded term. It is company lingo. I guess what I really should have said I should work on internal Individual Contributor track. The final stage of our IC track is basically thought-leader. As for feeling like failure, I failed in my side projects and ignored my career. And really feeling depressed that our dream home that was so attainable is complete out of reach now. Anyways, if I really focus on my career, I think I have a good shot of having a successful career. > C. "I could easily make 2x - 3x my salary [at a FAANG]" If it was that easy why the hell aren't you doing that now? Because I was not focused on money until now. I was happy and comfortable. I had a few interviews where I went in with a little Leetcode practice and I failed them horribly. > D. Again, you can just walk in anywhere AND get a salary bump? Again why aren't you doing that already. Again I was mostly happy and honestly I don't know if 1.6x bump in salary is worth giving up the comfortable job and the potential to move within my current tech giant. And thanks for pointing this out. More I think about it, this won't be worth it. > E. This is just pure fantasy I forgot who but someone said ask yourself what would you do if you were not afraid. Then do that thing. I guess this is what I would do. Having a family makes it harder. > If your day job is soul-sucking then at the very least go with option D, take your 1.2x to 1.6x salary bump and reassess. I think you can change your mindset and turn subjectively bad things in to positive things. Now option D doesn't seem worth it. I rather try to go in management than get a small pay raise in another company and start over.