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It's completely reasonable to expect kids to do things - e.g. cleaning their room, helping with the washing up - for your convenience. Why should life be comple

by dash2 5y ago

It's completely reasonable to expect kids to do things - e.g. cleaning their room, helping with the washing up - for your convenience. Why should life be completely one-sided? That's a way to raise a spoiled kid. Of course, yes, you also make some requests for teaching purposes. But what you're teaching her is to do things for your convenience in future. "For your convenience" sounds terrible, like you're using the child as a slave. But most families do things for each others' convenience the whole time, and that is fine and normal.

rglullis 5y ago
I am not disagreeing with you on the what, just on the why. > But what you're teaching her is to do things for your convenience in future. God, I really hope not. There are a thousand different ways where one can "avoid any inconvenience". You can hire help. You can just shove all their things in their rooms and simply not worry about what they do with it. The reason we teach the kids is because we love them and we want to instill important values in them. To repeat: convenience is the last of my concerns. >"For your convenience" sounds terrible, like you're using the child as a slave Not just that. It sounds like relationships are based on some sort of transactional nature. I don't go making around some kind of calculus about cost/benefit of each act or what I am getting from it. Love is selfless.
- dash2 5y ago
  I respectfully suggest that, like almost everyone, you are less than selfless - even when your children are concerned. You sometimes want them to turn their music down, clean their rooms, or run an errand, because it would be nicer for you. That is not a moral failing, but a reflection of the fact that you are a normal human being. > There are a thousand different ways where one can "avoid any inconvenience". You can hire help. There is almost no family that would not be seriously inconvenienced, at the very least, if children just did what they wanted. Most families can certainly not afford hired help.
  - emodendroket 5y ago
    Even if you can, the hired help probably isn't going to come around every single day.

by dash2 5y ago

rglullis 5y ago

I am not disagreeing with you on the what, just on the why. > But what you're teaching her is to do things for your convenience in future. God, I really hope not. There are a thousand different ways where one can "avoid any inconvenience". You can hire help. You can just shove all their things in their rooms and simply not worry about what they do with it. The reason we teach the kids is because we love them and we want to instill important values in them. To repeat: convenience is the last of my concerns. >"For your convenience" sounds terrible, like you're using the child as a slave Not just that. It sounds like relationships are based on some sort of transactional nature. I don't go making around some kind of calculus about cost/benefit of each act or what I am getting from it. Love is selfless.

dash2 5y ago
I respectfully suggest that, like almost everyone, you are less than selfless - even when your children are concerned. You sometimes want them to turn their music down, clean their rooms, or run an errand, because it would be nicer for you. That is not a moral failing, but a reflection of the fact that you are a normal human being. > There are a thousand different ways where one can "avoid any inconvenience". You can hire help. There is almost no family that would not be seriously inconvenienced, at the very least, if children just did what they wanted. Most families can certainly not afford hired help.
- emodendroket 5y ago
  Even if you can, the hired help probably isn't going to come around every single day.