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You’re thinking about this the wrong way. Start thinking about how to do with less. A bigger house won’t make you happier, it’ll just take more money to maintai

by dollar 5y ago

You’re thinking about this the wrong way. Start thinking about how to do with less. A bigger house won’t make you happier, it’ll just take more money to maintain, and therefore more of your time. The more you work, the less time you have with your family. You feel like a loser because, somewhere inside you know you’re the sucker. Stop consuming so much. Stop wanting more. Think of ways to maximize what you have by minimizing the time you spend working. Maybe downsize that house. Maybe move somewhere else with a lower cost of living and work remote.

randomopining 5y ago
Def agree, but optimize in both directions. There's only so much defense (lifestyle reductions) you can play, but you can go unlimited in offense. You gotta be honest with yourself, know yourself, know your goals, etc and then base your consumption and lifestyle aspirations around that. Maybe a super cozy and minimal but efficient house is exactly what you need. Maybe you want the ranch with acres of land to explore etc.
ac2022 5y ago
You are right, a bigger house won't necessarily make us happy. TBH, we can still get our dream home, banks said we can get huge mortgage but I am not comfortable with it. Roughly banks will loan you upto 3x of your annual income. I have prefer limit of 2x. We feel disappointed that we cannot buy our dream home while staying within our limits but it sort of reminds me that I have fallen behind. I know it is a rat race but makes me wonder what would happen in 20 years from now. Will I be able to send my kids to college? Will I be able to retire if I don't participate in rat race.
- mbrodersen 5y ago
  It is only a rat race for you if you decide to join the race. Who is it that is putting pressure on you to make more $? Is it your wife? Your friends? Yourself? Whoever it is will never be satisfied no matter how much $ you make. Stop comparing yourself to others. Ask yourself what you want deep down and act accordingly. When was the last time you were truly happy without buying something? Focus on that. It is your subconscious ego telling you something. Listen to it.
  - filasodora 5y ago
    I just wanted to say that's really great advice!
dollar 5y ago
I’ve built 14 startup companies over my career, currently on the 15th. Out of those 9 were acquired, and 3 were IPO. Yet I’m not what you’d describe as rich because of the asymmetry of risk vs rewards, and because of the drag of taxation. Outsized rewards are possibly only if you take outsized risks. When you have a big return, a large percentage of it is taken by the government. This is an additional hurdle over the risk you took. The result is that you take all the risk, and the government shares in the reward. To break out to a level where you can support yourself and your family purely through requires a true outlier 10x-20x the average return. You can wait a long time, your entire life in fact, to have this kind of outlier. I’ve sacrificed the best years of my life taking outsized risks and chasing the carrot so to speak. I’ve done well enough to maybe stop working in the next couple of years by age 45. My body kept the score of all the stress and my health paid a heavy price. The time you have as a healthy person can never be replaced. The trick is to stop spending your time chasing dollars. Let other people take the big risks and get the big rewards, while you sit back and collect a tax of sorts. The best way to do this is to own a business, which minimizes your tax liabilities, and also minimizes your time investment. This means you have to choose the business very carefully. It should be something that is very low risk, something which allows you to hire labor from the middle and bottom of the bell curve. It should have minimal regulation and licensure required to operate. Likely, it will be completely outside your high tech expertise. That’s good, that’s what you want. You’ll have to learn to operate this kind of business successfully. By reducing your lifestyle, by not going into debt for anything, by not buying that big house, new car, new computer, etc, and by saving your income, you will be able to afford to buy an existing business like this in cash. After you’ve mastered the operations and cash flow of one business, you can proceed to buy another. The richest people I know, both in terms of net worth, but more importantly their time, operate in this fashion. My neighbor owns 38 McDonald’s franchises. He started with a laundromat. The high tech gambit is a sucker’s game. I know, because I’m the sucker. The answer you are looking for is not “work harder”, or “go into management”. The answer is… stop working! Gradually your dependency on your working income until it’s gone.
- ac2022 5y ago
  I love this. I agree that owning a business that doesn't require too much of your time is better than a business like consulting. This might be something I would do on the side. One of my old manager owned several rental properties, it rarely took any of his time.

by dollar 5y ago

randomopining 5y ago

Def agree, but optimize in both directions. There's only so much defense (lifestyle reductions) you can play, but you can go unlimited in offense. You gotta be honest with yourself, know yourself, know your goals, etc and then base your consumption and lifestyle aspirations around that. Maybe a super cozy and minimal but efficient house is exactly what you need. Maybe you want the ranch with acres of land to explore etc.

ac2022 5y ago

You are right, a bigger house won't necessarily make us happy. TBH, we can still get our dream home, banks said we can get huge mortgage but I am not comfortable with it. Roughly banks will loan you upto 3x of your annual income. I have prefer limit of 2x. We feel disappointed that we cannot buy our dream home while staying within our limits but it sort of reminds me that I have fallen behind. I know it is a rat race but makes me wonder what would happen in 20 years from now. Will I be able to send my kids to college? Will I be able to retire if I don't participate in rat race.

mbrodersen 5y ago
It is only a rat race for you if you decide to join the race. Who is it that is putting pressure on you to make more $? Is it your wife? Your friends? Yourself? Whoever it is will never be satisfied no matter how much $ you make. Stop comparing yourself to others. Ask yourself what you want deep down and act accordingly. When was the last time you were truly happy without buying something? Focus on that. It is your subconscious ego telling you something. Listen to it.
- filasodora 5y ago
  I just wanted to say that's really great advice!

dollar 5y ago

I’ve built 14 startup companies over my career, currently on the 15th. Out of those 9 were acquired, and 3 were IPO. Yet I’m not what you’d describe as rich because of the asymmetry of risk vs rewards, and because of the drag of taxation. Outsized rewards are possibly only if you take outsized risks. When you have a big return, a large percentage of it is taken by the government. This is an additional hurdle over the risk you took. The result is that you take all the risk, and the government shares in the reward. To break out to a level where you can support yourself and your family purely through requires a true outlier 10x-20x the average return. You can wait a long time, your entire life in fact, to have this kind of outlier. I’ve sacrificed the best years of my life taking outsized risks and chasing the carrot so to speak. I’ve done well enough to maybe stop working in the next couple of years by age 45. My body kept the score of all the stress and my health paid a heavy price. The time you have as a healthy person can never be replaced. The trick is to stop spending your time chasing dollars. Let other people take the big risks and get the big rewards, while you sit back and collect a tax of sorts. The best way to do this is to own a business, which minimizes your tax liabilities, and also minimizes your time investment. This means you have to choose the business very carefully. It should be something that is very low risk, something which allows you to hire labor from the middle and bottom of the bell curve. It should have minimal regulation and licensure required to operate. Likely, it will be completely outside your high tech expertise. That’s good, that’s what you want. You’ll have to learn to operate this kind of business successfully. By reducing your lifestyle, by not going into debt for anything, by not buying that big house, new car, new computer, etc, and by saving your income, you will be able to afford to buy an existing business like this in cash. After you’ve mastered the operations and cash flow of one business, you can proceed to buy another. The richest people I know, both in terms of net worth, but more importantly their time, operate in this fashion. My neighbor owns 38 McDonald’s franchises. He started with a laundromat. The high tech gambit is a sucker’s game. I know, because I’m the sucker. The answer you are looking for is not “work harder”, or “go into management”. The answer is… stop working! Gradually your dependency on your working income until it’s gone.

ac2022 5y ago
I love this. I agree that owning a business that doesn't require too much of your time is better than a business like consulting. This might be something I would do on the side. One of my old manager owned several rental properties, it rarely took any of his time.