10 ms·

I am a practicing Catholic. I have four kids all under 7. My normal day consists of feeding them, bathing them, calming tantrums, losing my temper, getting bitt

by scop 5y ago

I am a practicing Catholic. I have four kids all under 7. My normal day consists of feeding them, bathing them, calming tantrums, losing my temper, getting bitter at my lack of time for hobbies, and growing resentful of my lack of time for reading the Bible, praying, etc. But then I remember that this is a true dying to self. Not only a dying to self, but a dying to the world too as each of these sacrifices, failures, and victories occur hidden away from the world. Thus I commend myself to this daily humbling, this emptying, and also trust myself to the daily prayer of the monks, whose prayer and sacrifice are also hidden from the world and whose labors I suspect are also just as arduous, frustrating, and challenging at times. > For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find i

kk6mrp 5y ago
You might like this poem (from what I can find it is attributed to Bill Britton): When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don’t sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving silence. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality, or any annoyance; when you stand face-to- face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility and endure it as Jesus endured. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you are content with any food, any offering, any climate, any society, any raiment, any interruption by the will of God. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendations, when you can truly love to be unknown. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy, nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart. THAT IS DYING TO SELF Are you dead yet? In these last days, the Spirit would bring us to the cross. “That I may know Him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” Philippians 3:10 EDIT: I like to keep this poem around as a reminder on how I should act. I find that self is a hard beast to conquer.
- BTCOG 5y ago
  It's so odd to me that since the dawn of time, humans find this innate need to live in slave morality. Living a life of moral slavery based on stories and tales previous humans made with their own minds. It's a definition of insanity, from my own perspective. To contribute to the discussion: I practice nothing, no religion, no meditations. Nothing. I find peace enough knowing that I'm not morally enslaved and that I trust in natural workings of this possibly created planet. It's not that I do not believe there's some God or force out there, potentially, but I fully trust in living a natural life, the way I was born and in a somewhat Stoic fashion. When I die, I just am. I will become nature once more. So be it.
  - whatshisface 5y ago
    Moral slavery as you put it is one of those things that's bad for you but good for everybody else, unless you're bad at getting away with things in which case it's also good for you. Another kind of slavery is doing whatever you want, because you don't decide what you want. What you want is determined by the often self-contradictory brain circuits that sprouted in your head without your intent or permission. That's something from the bible, by the way.
    - BTCOG 5y ago
      God is nature itself. I am happy toiling in soils, studying plants, etc. I could just as easily 100% drop computers and engineering next week and live on my own farm toiling the soils, raising farm animals and be as happy as I have ever been in my life.
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
    - nugget 5y ago
      I recently heard an experienced psychologist claim that in 30+ years of clinical practice he had never seen anyone "get away with" anything. I was surprised by the statement. This would be Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment universally applied. The psychological consequences of actions we take may be so deeply embedded within our DNA that they become almost impossible to escape.
samhain 5y ago
It’s funny too, since some of those kids may eventually realize that they were brought here without their consent, and that they don’t actually like working and paying bills. You, suffering for them, then suffering for their existence, and a death of your previous self, in which you draw yourself as a type of martyr. No one’s happy on your road to Damascus, and yet you’re faith and community demand your consent to your animalistic urges to reproduce and maintain face within your community. Having children out of guilt and peer pressure from your religious community is no excuse for their suffering.
- JohnBooty 5y ago
  I don't disagree, but your post feels out of place. This Ask HN is "What is your spiritual practice?", not "Debate others' beliefs."
  - MegaButts 5y ago
    I think pointing out flaws in other people's reasoning is perfectly valid. You could argue the response was mean-spirited, but I actually enjoyed how well it articulated something I was thinking. Honestly I think we need more posts like the above, not fewer.
    - titzer 5y ago
      > I think pointing out flaws in other people's reasoning is perfectly valid. Frankly my knee-jerk reaction on some of the above comments was to start picking apart their reasoning and thinking of ways to explain why they're wrong. I was gearing up to drop some bombs. I have done this a lot. The internet is full of it. And it sucks. There's so much of "I'm just pointing out the flaws in other people's reasoning". It's more than just snootiness; it's exhausting for everyone, even the out-pointer and out-pointed. It saps energy and....damn it...I'm doing it right now. The end result is just a cloud of bad feelings. Wouldn't it be nice if you could write something on the internet and people would just listen....fuuuuu...and maybe some people would agree, and you wouldn't have to have an argument? What a world!
czbond 5y ago
I can relate to your frustrations; what does the term "dying to self" mean to you? (I'm trying to understand the phrase, not questioning it)
- 323454 5y ago
  I'm not GP but as I understand it most religions contain an idea that selflessness is the highest good that a person can attain. Further they often maintain that only by becoming truly selfless can you make your spirit one with God (I don't specifically mean the Christian God here, just the concept of God). Becoming truly self-less literally means eliminating the self and its wants and impulses (really what is meant by this is typically something like the ego). Such an elimination has been called a "dying to self" or a mortification. I will say that in my experience acting in selfless ways is indeed the most spiritually fulfilling thing you can do, regardless of your specific theology. The paradox is that you have to really be selfless: if you have any expectation of a reward (even a spiritual one) then you are in fact still acting for your self. Consequently the only true source of selflessness is love for others that exceeds love for yourself. Cultivate such love and you can't go wrong.
  - czbond 5y ago
    Thank you - that was very helpful

by scop 5y ago

kk6mrp 5y ago

You might like this poem (from what I can find it is attributed to Bill Britton): When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don’t sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving silence. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality, or any annoyance; when you stand face-to- face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility and endure it as Jesus endured. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you are content with any food, any offering, any climate, any society, any raiment, any interruption by the will of God. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendations, when you can truly love to be unknown. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy, nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances. THAT IS DYING TO SELF When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart. THAT IS DYING TO SELF Are you dead yet? In these last days, the Spirit would bring us to the cross. “That I may know Him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” Philippians 3:10 EDIT: I like to keep this poem around as a reminder on how I should act. I find that self is a hard beast to conquer.

BTCOG 5y ago
It's so odd to me that since the dawn of time, humans find this innate need to live in slave morality. Living a life of moral slavery based on stories and tales previous humans made with their own minds. It's a definition of insanity, from my own perspective. To contribute to the discussion: I practice nothing, no religion, no meditations. Nothing. I find peace enough knowing that I'm not morally enslaved and that I trust in natural workings of this possibly created planet. It's not that I do not believe there's some God or force out there, potentially, but I fully trust in living a natural life, the way I was born and in a somewhat Stoic fashion. When I die, I just am. I will become nature once more. So be it.
- whatshisface 5y ago
  Moral slavery as you put it is one of those things that's bad for you but good for everybody else, unless you're bad at getting away with things in which case it's also good for you. Another kind of slavery is doing whatever you want, because you don't decide what you want. What you want is determined by the often self-contradictory brain circuits that sprouted in your head without your intent or permission. That's something from the bible, by the way.
  - BTCOG 5y ago
    God is nature itself. I am happy toiling in soils, studying plants, etc. I could just as easily 100% drop computers and engineering next week and live on my own farm toiling the soils, raising farm animals and be as happy as I have ever been in my life.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
  - nugget 5y ago
    I recently heard an experienced psychologist claim that in 30+ years of clinical practice he had never seen anyone "get away with" anything. I was surprised by the statement. This would be Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment universally applied. The psychological consequences of actions we take may be so deeply embedded within our DNA that they become almost impossible to escape.

samhain 5y ago

It’s funny too, since some of those kids may eventually realize that they were brought here without their consent, and that they don’t actually like working and paying bills. You, suffering for them, then suffering for their existence, and a death of your previous self, in which you draw yourself as a type of martyr. No one’s happy on your road to Damascus, and yet you’re faith and community demand your consent to your animalistic urges to reproduce and maintain face within your community. Having children out of guilt and peer pressure from your religious community is no excuse for their suffering.

JohnBooty 5y ago
I don't disagree, but your post feels out of place. This Ask HN is "What is your spiritual practice?", not "Debate others' beliefs."
- MegaButts 5y ago
  I think pointing out flaws in other people's reasoning is perfectly valid. You could argue the response was mean-spirited, but I actually enjoyed how well it articulated something I was thinking. Honestly I think we need more posts like the above, not fewer.
  - titzer 5y ago
    > I think pointing out flaws in other people's reasoning is perfectly valid. Frankly my knee-jerk reaction on some of the above comments was to start picking apart their reasoning and thinking of ways to explain why they're wrong. I was gearing up to drop some bombs. I have done this a lot. The internet is full of it. And it sucks. There's so much of "I'm just pointing out the flaws in other people's reasoning". It's more than just snootiness; it's exhausting for everyone, even the out-pointer and out-pointed. It saps energy and....damn it...I'm doing it right now. The end result is just a cloud of bad feelings. Wouldn't it be nice if you could write something on the internet and people would just listen....fuuuuu...and maybe some people would agree, and you wouldn't have to have an argument? What a world!

czbond 5y ago

I can relate to your frustrations; what does the term "dying to self" mean to you? (I'm trying to understand the phrase, not questioning it)

323454 5y ago
I'm not GP but as I understand it most religions contain an idea that selflessness is the highest good that a person can attain. Further they often maintain that only by becoming truly selfless can you make your spirit one with God (I don't specifically mean the Christian God here, just the concept of God). Becoming truly self-less literally means eliminating the self and its wants and impulses (really what is meant by this is typically something like the ego). Such an elimination has been called a "dying to self" or a mortification. I will say that in my experience acting in selfless ways is indeed the most spiritually fulfilling thing you can do, regardless of your specific theology. The paradox is that you have to really be selfless: if you have any expectation of a reward (even a spiritual one) then you are in fact still acting for your self. Consequently the only true source of selflessness is love for others that exceeds love for yourself. Cultivate such love and you can't go wrong.
- czbond 5y ago
  Thank you - that was very helpful