3 ms·
> And some even responded in ways that don't make much sense at all. (One of my best, long-term friends responded with "well, you've always been a great friend
by pxc 5y ago
> And some even responded in ways that don't make much sense at all. (One of my best, long-term friends responded with "well, you've always been a great friend to me!" when I texted him the diagnosis).
I think what they meant must have been something like
> I would not have guessed that someone who has always seemed as attentive to my feelings and comfort as you do is someone who has difficulty reading social cues or exercising cognitive empathy
it requires a few leaps in interpretation, but I think they must have meant to be saying something positive about some specific social skills of yours that they expect to be difficult for autistic people.
It kinda makes a little sense. But only a little. It's almost like saying
> it's okay!
as if you'd just apologized for something, which is definitely baffling (and a bit disappointing).
- benwills 5y agoYeah, it's a good enough friend that I deliberately tried to not interpret what was intended. In part because, as you say, it's a bit of a leap. Instead, I chose to interpret that the news was surprising and perhaps a bit uncomfortable. And I know that when people are surprised with things like that, they can say things that don't quite make sense or reflect how they feel. So I just kind of left it at that. But the noticing of it was more the impact that, on this end, it's another data point of not feeling understood. Especially when it isn't brought up again.
- alisonkisk 5y agoMisunderstanding social messaging is a symptom of ASD, so it's important to not assume insult when someone says something you don't understand.