I don't know how anyone could see mild autism as a status symbol? I have no idea what I am, but I know I'm not "normal" - at least as normal as most in America

I don't know how anyone could see mild autism as a status symbol? I have no idea what I am, but I know I'm not "normal" - at least as normal as most in America. I definitely think different and require a strong filter to function in normal society. Things like schedules and meetings overwhelm me mentally, or at least are the most tiresome stuff I do where to others they are trivial. I also simply cannot push through "busy work" tasks even if I see immense payout in the end. I dropped out of high school without a plan simply because it was such a mental torture to sit through useless classes every day I could trivially test out of. But, when I get an idea or project or goal in my head I am utterly relentless to a level I don't see in many others. When I was younger I could kind of patch through this and find professional paths that worked alright with my quirks. Now that I'm older and have a family and "real" career with 7am alarm clocks/etc. I find life to be fairly unbearable from a mental aspect. I'd really like to know what causes this in me. I've always been this way, to my extreme detriment, when I was younger I would cry myself to sleep just wanting to be "normal". Is it mild autism? ADHD? PTSD from childhood trauma? I dunno, but it's both relationship and career impacting and having to build your life around it sucks - knowing what your dealing with sounds amazing to me. I just can't imagine wishing putting life on "hard mode" like this is on anyone, or anyone wanting to live it...