I understand you OP. I'll add a little bit of my story hoping it would comfort you or people in similar situations. I went through a divorce with a massive emo

I understand you OP. I'll add a little bit of my story hoping it would comfort you or people in similar situations. I went through a divorce with a massive emotional rollercoaster which devastated me for a few years. Lost excellent job/research opportunities/offers. Lost contact with family, friends and mates. Got social anxiety, avoided people and felt unprecedentedly alone. Life pushed me off my limits and left me crushed and helpless. But I survied. Got a deeper appreciation for good things in life. For time, for loved ones, for humans, for I am one. Tried my luck with a new job, joined again some communities recovered some of my old hobbies and good habits. I got to know myself better. The thing is, it will pass. What helped me was deriving value from within and jogging. I wish you luck and Merry Christmas!