I recommend reading up on what the psychologist John Gottman calls a "bid for connection," specifically about not taking it at face value but recognizing it as

I recommend reading up on what the psychologist John Gottman calls a "bid for connection," specifically about not taking it at face value but recognizing it as a genuine attempt at building rapport. Nevertheless, you aren't alone in interpreting such bids in a negative way. I sometimes ask people, especially defense clients, straight up: "Are you a person who finds comfort in discussing times when others have faced similar problems, even if there are still a lot of differences? Or would that make you feel that you weren't being heard as an individual?"