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> If someone says that they are ‘a little autistic’ they aren’t saying that they ‘are autistic’, they are just attempting to emphasize. Don’t destroy that by ge

> If someone says that they are ‘a little autistic’ they aren’t saying that they ‘are autistic’, they are just attempting to emphasize. Don’t destroy that by getting into a semantic debate. It's like saying "I'm actually 1/16 Cherokee!" as a form of group-identifying empathy. Note: It is not. > I work in this field and I dislike takes like this, where individuals think they can speak for a whole group. People like us have been trying desperately to get people who "work in the field" to understand us for decades, with little success. This is but one example.

Lhiw 5y ago
I say to myself I'm a little bit autistic. But I'm not really sure. I fit the profile of person one in the article. The reason I'm wondering / even looking at autism is because the meds for my ADHD just make everything worse even at really small doses and I don't really know what to do.
- TOGoS 5y ago
  Yeah, there seems to be a bit of overlap between ADHD symptoms and being anywhere other than the extreme neurotypical end of the autism spectrum. As an ADHD person, one thing that has helped me a lot is listening to ADDitude Mag podcasts[1]. Listening to people who are experts in the subject and are ADHD themselves has been quite validating. Like, yeah, we're not stupid, but the normies sure make us feel that way sometimes, huh! I recommend the ones with Ned Hallowell, especially. So maybe you're not ADHD, or maybe you are but that's not your main problem. There are probably similar podcasts or forums or communities for people that are 'weird' or mildly disabled in other ways. I guess I'm trying to be helpful because I relate, and I know how alienating it can be, but the best I can come up with is to quote Timothy Leary and say "find the others." Easier said than done. You can talk at me if you want. :) [1] A collection of them I generated from some RSS feed: http://www.nuke24.net/projects/Playlister/?playlist-uri=urn:bitprint:O6E4KWAPG6L4HIECKUF5ZC22CWFVYKRU.QONNONZR6Z2SDUOMEHDR46A5WS27B4GVUNLZDBA&n2rHost= http://www.nuke24.net/projects/Playlister/?playlist-uri=urn:...
  - robocat 5y ago
    > normies I really think that is an incredibly divisive and reductive way of looking at people. In my experience, everybody has mental problems, but you usually don’t get to learn of someone’s individual struggles unless you are very close to them. I am guessing you have a job, and maybe you dislike how you feel others judge you for your personal difficulties with your symptoms. You appear to judge others, who have their own personal struggles with their own quirky symptoms, perhaps which you don’t empathise with because they don’t happen to have ADHD? I really like the jokingly serious way this is said at 12:15 to 13:30 in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ctz6eJ3Pr94 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ctz6eJ3Pr94
    - pxc 5y ago
      > > normies > I really think that is an incredibly divisive and reductive way of looking at people. This is actually one of the problems in neurodiversity discourse, too: neurotypical doesn't actually qualify as a neurotype, and probably no one is neurotypical.
    - TOGoS 5y ago
      Well, maybe that was a bad choice of word on my part. I don't think of the majority of humanity as being judgemental assholes. Most of the people that I actually interact with are nice and understanding, because everybody's got their own set of problems, and we can use all the mutual understanding we can get. But there are certain people, especially in positions of authority, that are able to turn their ignorance and lack of imagination into /my/ problem (teachers I had decades ago, or grandboss at previous job, for example, which is part of the reason I am currently /not/ employed). I'm really complaining about systemic problems, not individuals.
Forge36 5y ago
There's a difference between "1/16th Cherokee" and "growing up on a reservation with grandfather". The full context on the conversation is important. In this conversation: I'd like to know more on how to define: people like us.
joenathanone 5y ago
For better or worse, I would never know unless you told me, and to use your metaphor, the very fact that you can socially interact here on HN at all more or less puts you in that camp of being 1/16 Cherokee and then stating "people like us". Of the individuals I interact with on a daily basis, some can't vocalize or interact in any meaningful way beyond grunting, but of the ones that could, most would likely end up banned or shadow banned if they tried socializing on HN. I don't discount your experience in the least, but for the individuals I personally know, work for and with, one of the most valuable things they can receive is someone taking the time to empathize with them. Most people don't and they end up having no or very few friends and/or otherwise being social outcast.
Nasrudith 5y ago
The "1/16 Cherokee" example seems to be clumsy adaptation of social techniques for trying to connect via commonalities. The intent counts for a bit. It certainly isn't effective or pleasing to the target, but it is an attempt to bridge and group-identify. That they aren't unconnected strangers with no link. Arguably this a symptom of other conceptual issues (like needing genetic connections for kinship as opposed to universals). But it is a step of progress and a reason to educate rather than shun or scorn.
tobiasSoftware 5y ago
I think there's a difference between someone saying they are "a little autistic" when talking to someone who is definitely autistic as a form of self-identification, vs them trying to figure out if they have autism themselves and put the pieces together of why they seem a bit different than everyone else. I've recently started wondering if I'm a little autistic myself. I would never say that I am in response to someone who tells me that they are. But I fit the description of person 1 almost to a T, minus the thumb sucking and chair rocking, but plus trouble dealing with driving to where driving on an unfamiliar road will ruin my day. Am I autistic? I have no idea honestly.

Lhiw 5y ago

I say to myself I'm a little bit autistic. But I'm not really sure. I fit the profile of person one in the article. The reason I'm wondering / even looking at autism is because the meds for my ADHD just make everything worse even at really small doses and I don't really know what to do.

TOGoS 5y ago
Yeah, there seems to be a bit of overlap between ADHD symptoms and being anywhere other than the extreme neurotypical end of the autism spectrum. As an ADHD person, one thing that has helped me a lot is listening to ADDitude Mag podcasts[1]. Listening to people who are experts in the subject and are ADHD themselves has been quite validating. Like, yeah, we're not stupid, but the normies sure make us feel that way sometimes, huh! I recommend the ones with Ned Hallowell, especially. So maybe you're not ADHD, or maybe you are but that's not your main problem. There are probably similar podcasts or forums or communities for people that are 'weird' or mildly disabled in other ways. I guess I'm trying to be helpful because I relate, and I know how alienating it can be, but the best I can come up with is to quote Timothy Leary and say "find the others." Easier said than done. You can talk at me if you want. :) [1] A collection of them I generated from some RSS feed: http://www.nuke24.net/projects/Playlister/?playlist-uri=urn:bitprint:O6E4KWAPG6L4HIECKUF5ZC22CWFVYKRU.QONNONZR6Z2SDUOMEHDR46A5WS27B4GVUNLZDBA&n2rHost= http://www.nuke24.net/projects/Playlister/?playlist-uri=urn:...
- robocat 5y ago
  > normies I really think that is an incredibly divisive and reductive way of looking at people. In my experience, everybody has mental problems, but you usually don’t get to learn of someone’s individual struggles unless you are very close to them. I am guessing you have a job, and maybe you dislike how you feel others judge you for your personal difficulties with your symptoms. You appear to judge others, who have their own personal struggles with their own quirky symptoms, perhaps which you don’t empathise with because they don’t happen to have ADHD? I really like the jokingly serious way this is said at 12:15 to 13:30 in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ctz6eJ3Pr94 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ctz6eJ3Pr94
  - pxc 5y ago
    > > normies > I really think that is an incredibly divisive and reductive way of looking at people. This is actually one of the problems in neurodiversity discourse, too: neurotypical doesn't actually qualify as a neurotype, and probably no one is neurotypical.
  - TOGoS 5y ago
    Well, maybe that was a bad choice of word on my part. I don't think of the majority of humanity as being judgemental assholes. Most of the people that I actually interact with are nice and understanding, because everybody's got their own set of problems, and we can use all the mutual understanding we can get. But there are certain people, especially in positions of authority, that are able to turn their ignorance and lack of imagination into /my/ problem (teachers I had decades ago, or grandboss at previous job, for example, which is part of the reason I am currently /not/ employed). I'm really complaining about systemic problems, not individuals.

Forge36 5y ago

There's a difference between "1/16th Cherokee" and "growing up on a reservation with grandfather". The full context on the conversation is important. In this conversation: I'd like to know more on how to define: people like us.

joenathanone 5y ago

For better or worse, I would never know unless you told me, and to use your metaphor, the very fact that you can socially interact here on HN at all more or less puts you in that camp of being 1/16 Cherokee and then stating "people like us". Of the individuals I interact with on a daily basis, some can't vocalize or interact in any meaningful way beyond grunting, but of the ones that could, most would likely end up banned or shadow banned if they tried socializing on HN. I don't discount your experience in the least, but for the individuals I personally know, work for and with, one of the most valuable things they can receive is someone taking the time to empathize with them. Most people don't and they end up having no or very few friends and/or otherwise being social outcast.

Nasrudith 5y ago

The "1/16 Cherokee" example seems to be clumsy adaptation of social techniques for trying to connect via commonalities. The intent counts for a bit. It certainly isn't effective or pleasing to the target, but it is an attempt to bridge and group-identify. That they aren't unconnected strangers with no link. Arguably this a symptom of other conceptual issues (like needing genetic connections for kinship as opposed to universals). But it is a step of progress and a reason to educate rather than shun or scorn.

tobiasSoftware 5y ago

I think there's a difference between someone saying they are "a little autistic" when talking to someone who is definitely autistic as a form of self-identification, vs them trying to figure out if they have autism themselves and put the pieces together of why they seem a bit different than everyone else. I've recently started wondering if I'm a little autistic myself. I would never say that I am in response to someone who tells me that they are. But I fit the description of person 1 almost to a T, minus the thumb sucking and chair rocking, but plus trouble dealing with driving to where driving on an unfamiliar road will ruin my day. Am I autistic? I have no idea honestly.