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> But now there is in-person socializing again I’ve been struggling with this. I either forgot where & how to socialize, or socializing is not actually back. E

> But now there is in-person socializing again I’ve been struggling with this. I either forgot where & how to socialize, or socializing is not actually back. Even though we’re back to normal, I feel as disconnected as ever. What are remote workers doing to socialize without social media these days?

ok_dad 5y ago
I’m with you, I have no friends and I’m getting really depressed. Online games and friends aren’t a replacement and I don’t know where to go these days to meet people who have my interests. I don’t even know how to talk to strangers anymore, and I wasn’t very good at it before the past 2 years. I’m sick of spending all my time with my wife and kid, even though I love them. I can’t go many places or interact with people who aren’t very safe, because my wife has bad lungs and if she gets Covid there’s a real chance she’ll die, even vaccinated and boosted. What do people do about that? I’m getting to the point where I just work all the time to pass time and the rest I’m doing stuff for my family like chores and errands. I’m not doing great right now. Edit because who the f downvotes this? Fuck you ya dirty rat.
- labster 5y ago
  Downvoted because parent reminds me of how isolated and meaningless my own life is. This is The Holidays, a time for palliative lies, not honest assessments of our cultural alienation. Though Dickens might disagree with me.
  - winternett 5y ago
    Get out of that hole man... The holiDAYS are just DAYS... Literally nothing special to them if they aren't special to you. Each day is a new opportunity to make yourself more comfortable in life, not by buying stuff, or being with people, but by finding out what really creates happiness for you. Worry about what you can control, and fix those things. Also take vitamin D, it helps to fight seasonal depression.
- DarylZero 5y ago
  Me too.
- winternett 5y ago
  Try reaching out to old friends, share your phone number and transition to phone calls. Text messaging is what makes many feel so disconnected because there are no vocal or facial expressions involved. Also, just practice talking to random strangers, you'll find that some people who are just hanging out outdoors in parks are going through the same emotions you are. Don't place expectations on anyone to be a committed friend, just start chats with strangers and let that be it until you feel comfortable with asking for phone numbers or coffee/tea hangouts and then work up from there. Don't expect anything from anyone, work on your personal happiness, hobbies, being available when people try to chat with you, and stability (financial, mental, and physical health) in the world. Some of the best conversations I've had in life were one-time chats with strangers, they tailor their words to us less than friends because they don't know us. You'll be surprised how friendships just fall into view when you do that without expectations. Don't think about it, just try it.
  - ok_dad 5y ago
    Good advice, thank you.
throwaway55421 5y ago
Meet up groups, popping to the pub for lunch and meeting the locals, knocking on neighbour's doors to introduce yourself, asking an old friend if they want to come over and play some Goldeneye. You just have to actually do it. For disclosure though, I don't work remotely, the benefits (mainly skipping a bit of cycling each day) seem minor to me compared to the downsides. And I never stopped socializing to begin with since I think corona is overblown, so I'm maintaining and adding to social groups. I have lost a lot of friends too, of course.
- watwut 5y ago
  > popping to the pub for lunch and meeting the locals, knocking on neighbour's doors to introduce yoursel No one will talk to you in pub, "locals" are with their established friend group or at home. And knocking to introduce yourself is weird, and still people won't socialize with you because you knocked. They have own plans and ow isolated lifes
  - throwaway55421 5y ago
    Introducing yourself to your neighbours is too "weird" for you? Well, revealed preferences I guess. Best of luck. I enjoy chatting to my neighbours and I'd have no issue with them popping in for a cup of tea.
    - watwut 5y ago
      Yes it is. People don't do that. No one goes through apartment complex knocking on doors and introducing themselves. By no one I literally means no one. And it is not a thing that would be done in the past either.
      - throwaway55421 5y ago
        It's interesting that we can have such different life experiences. Well, me and my neighbours are happy to be weird in your view. You do you. I don't think you're weird btw, just less social I guess?

ok_dad 5y ago

I’m with you, I have no friends and I’m getting really depressed. Online games and friends aren’t a replacement and I don’t know where to go these days to meet people who have my interests. I don’t even know how to talk to strangers anymore, and I wasn’t very good at it before the past 2 years. I’m sick of spending all my time with my wife and kid, even though I love them. I can’t go many places or interact with people who aren’t very safe, because my wife has bad lungs and if she gets Covid there’s a real chance she’ll die, even vaccinated and boosted. What do people do about that? I’m getting to the point where I just work all the time to pass time and the rest I’m doing stuff for my family like chores and errands. I’m not doing great right now. Edit because who the f downvotes this? Fuck you ya dirty rat.

labster 5y ago
Downvoted because parent reminds me of how isolated and meaningless my own life is. This is The Holidays, a time for palliative lies, not honest assessments of our cultural alienation. Though Dickens might disagree with me.
- winternett 5y ago
  Get out of that hole man... The holiDAYS are just DAYS... Literally nothing special to them if they aren't special to you. Each day is a new opportunity to make yourself more comfortable in life, not by buying stuff, or being with people, but by finding out what really creates happiness for you. Worry about what you can control, and fix those things. Also take vitamin D, it helps to fight seasonal depression.
DarylZero 5y ago
Me too.
winternett 5y ago
Try reaching out to old friends, share your phone number and transition to phone calls. Text messaging is what makes many feel so disconnected because there are no vocal or facial expressions involved. Also, just practice talking to random strangers, you'll find that some people who are just hanging out outdoors in parks are going through the same emotions you are. Don't place expectations on anyone to be a committed friend, just start chats with strangers and let that be it until you feel comfortable with asking for phone numbers or coffee/tea hangouts and then work up from there. Don't expect anything from anyone, work on your personal happiness, hobbies, being available when people try to chat with you, and stability (financial, mental, and physical health) in the world. Some of the best conversations I've had in life were one-time chats with strangers, they tailor their words to us less than friends because they don't know us. You'll be surprised how friendships just fall into view when you do that without expectations. Don't think about it, just try it.
- ok_dad 5y ago
  Good advice, thank you.

throwaway55421 5y ago

Meet up groups, popping to the pub for lunch and meeting the locals, knocking on neighbour's doors to introduce yourself, asking an old friend if they want to come over and play some Goldeneye. You just have to actually do it. For disclosure though, I don't work remotely, the benefits (mainly skipping a bit of cycling each day) seem minor to me compared to the downsides. And I never stopped socializing to begin with since I think corona is overblown, so I'm maintaining and adding to social groups. I have lost a lot of friends too, of course.

watwut 5y ago
> popping to the pub for lunch and meeting the locals, knocking on neighbour's doors to introduce yoursel No one will talk to you in pub, "locals" are with their established friend group or at home. And knocking to introduce yourself is weird, and still people won't socialize with you because you knocked. They have own plans and ow isolated lifes
- throwaway55421 5y ago
  Introducing yourself to your neighbours is too "weird" for you? Well, revealed preferences I guess. Best of luck. I enjoy chatting to my neighbours and I'd have no issue with them popping in for a cup of tea.
  - watwut 5y ago
    Yes it is. People don't do that. No one goes through apartment complex knocking on doors and introducing themselves. By no one I literally means no one. And it is not a thing that would be done in the past either.
    - throwaway55421 5y ago
      It's interesting that we can have such different life experiences. Well, me and my neighbours are happy to be weird in your view. You do you. I don't think you're weird btw, just less social I guess?