It’s fascinating that our experiences are so similar, but in opposite directions. I was raised in a secular household with secular values. In college, and a

It’s fascinating that our experiences are so similar, but in opposite directions. I was raised in a secular household with secular values. In college, and afterwords at work, I began to observe that the negative features which I had, in prejudice, attributed to religion and religious people, such as self-righteousness, hypocrisy, prejudice, willful ignorance, reality denial, obstinance, etc., were perfectly abundant in the secular world that I inhabited, and in myself as well. Realizing that maybe these constituted a sort of universal human temptation, I started going to a (Catholic) church. There was plenty of that there, as well, but also something more, which I had never known. Also like you, I was really bitter (and depressed) for a while afterwards. Losing one’s faith in the worldview that had given life meaning does that, I think. It’s still a struggle for me, if I’m honest. Affirming and living that “something more” is difficult and elusive, and it’s vastly easier to intellectualize and wallow in negations. I don’t consistently do the former. Anyway, the point here is that I’m sorry you had to go through that, and I know how painful it is to lose your bearings. If you end up disillusioned out there, hit me up.