7 ms·

Why is that rule unfortunate? Why would someone date or hookup with someone they're not physically attracted to?

guerrilla 5y ago
This kind of thing is what they're talking about. > It was determined that the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men [1]. https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-g...
- ProjectArcturis 5y ago
  So, this guy set up a fake profile and interviewed women who matched with him, without disclosing he was doing research? Ethics aside, he doesn't discuss his methodology at all. How did these interviews turn into a Gini curve? How could they, without some heroic statistical assumptions?
  - guerrilla 5y ago
    It's been studied a lot, I just threw that up as example since it was posted here a couple of days ago. Here's one of OKCupid's own studies [1]. You can search for others that confirm the same thing over and over again. 1. https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/yourlooksandyourinbox.html https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/yourlooksandyo...
    - ProjectArcturis 5y ago
      That study shows the exact opposite of what you're claiming. The third figure shows that the vast majority of women's messages go to men they rate as less than 4/5 attractive. The last figure shows that even the least attractive men still got replies to their messages 22% of the time.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- JohnHaugeland 5y ago
  You shouldn't be taking pareto claims on a sample size of n=27 seriously There are apple flavored flat earth medicine studies with stronger statistics
  - guerrilla 5y ago
    It's been shown plenty of other places, including by OKCupid, which why I qualified with "kind of thing." It's common knowledge at this point.
    - vajrabum 5y ago
      There's lots of common 'knowledge' in social psychology including studies done by serious reputable researchers that turns out to not be so. This is a big enough issue that it's termed the "replication crisis". So, yes, maybe. Maybe not.
      - guerrilla 5y ago
        Being shown by a lot of studies means its been replicated a lot.
        JohnHaugeland 5y ago
        only the ones with valid statistics count some guy dug up a bunch of studies done on abductions by satanists in the 1990s. remember that, from 60 minutes? the punchline was there had never actually been such an abduction, but there were 30+ studies. and that's replicated a lot. the quality of the replication matters.
        guerrilla 5y ago
        Alright, keep that goal post moving then. In the meantime, I'll go with the best we got.
        5y ago
watwut 5y ago
I guess because in real life, even if you dont look super attractive, you can still charm partners by the way you talk and act. You can be funny, come across as trustworthy etc. You can not do that on tinder.
- wayoutthere 5y ago
  Yes, this. If you’re trying to find a partner on a platform where matches are determined solely by physical attraction, you’re gonna have a hard time if you’re not physically attractive. Know what Tinder is, and be self-aware enough to know if it’s not for you.
  - aenis 5y ago
    The attractive types will also have it difficult. The matches will likely be attractive physically, but that hardly guarantees a true match. I know lots of attractive people that struggle to find a partner (and instead move from one one night stand to another). I think at some point it must get pretty depressing and toxic.
    - wayoutthere 5y ago
      That’s it’s whole own thing; people who are incredibly attractive can move on really quick because they know they can get something else. Then they hit their 30s and that all dries up, and they don’t know how to have a real relationship that lasts longer than a few months. Obviously not everyone who is hot is this way, but it’s one of the “types” you’ll find if you date around a lot.
inglor_cz 5y ago
Not the OP, but attraction is a complicated, multi-dimensional beast and the unfortunate thing about Tinder and similar apps is that they reduce all of this to a 2D, possibly doctored, photo of the user. In real life, people who do not look gorgeous can still sweep you off your feet by their smile, laughter, gestures, tone of voice, scent, the way they move, talk, react, fall into daydream... Of all my previous lovers, ending with my wife of 16 years, I wouldn't choose a single one based just on a picture. But I was strongly attracted to all of them in real life. Human magic cannot really be distilled into an algorithmic system. Not yet, anyway.

This kind of thing is what they're talking about. > It was determined that the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men [1]. https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-g...

ProjectArcturis 5y ago
So, this guy set up a fake profile and interviewed women who matched with him, without disclosing he was doing research? Ethics aside, he doesn't discuss his methodology at all. How did these interviews turn into a Gini curve? How could they, without some heroic statistical assumptions?
- guerrilla 5y ago
  It's been studied a lot, I just threw that up as example since it was posted here a couple of days ago. Here's one of OKCupid's own studies [1]. You can search for others that confirm the same thing over and over again. 1. https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/yourlooksandyourinbox.html https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/yourlooksandyo...
  - ProjectArcturis 5y ago
    That study shows the exact opposite of what you're claiming. The third figure shows that the vast majority of women's messages go to men they rate as less than 4/5 attractive. The last figure shows that even the least attractive men still got replies to their messages 22% of the time.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
JohnHaugeland 5y ago
You shouldn't be taking pareto claims on a sample size of n=27 seriously There are apple flavored flat earth medicine studies with stronger statistics
- guerrilla 5y ago
  It's been shown plenty of other places, including by OKCupid, which why I qualified with "kind of thing." It's common knowledge at this point.
  - vajrabum 5y ago
    There's lots of common 'knowledge' in social psychology including studies done by serious reputable researchers that turns out to not be so. This is a big enough issue that it's termed the "replication crisis". So, yes, maybe. Maybe not.
    - guerrilla 5y ago
      Being shown by a lot of studies means its been replicated a lot.
      - JohnHaugeland 5y ago
        only the ones with valid statistics count some guy dug up a bunch of studies done on abductions by satanists in the 1990s. remember that, from 60 minutes? the punchline was there had never actually been such an abduction, but there were 30+ studies. and that's replicated a lot. the quality of the replication matters.
        guerrilla 5y ago
        Alright, keep that goal post moving then. In the meantime, I'll go with the best we got.
        5y ago

watwut 5y ago

I guess because in real life, even if you dont look super attractive, you can still charm partners by the way you talk and act. You can be funny, come across as trustworthy etc. You can not do that on tinder.

wayoutthere 5y ago
Yes, this. If you’re trying to find a partner on a platform where matches are determined solely by physical attraction, you’re gonna have a hard time if you’re not physically attractive. Know what Tinder is, and be self-aware enough to know if it’s not for you.
- aenis 5y ago
  The attractive types will also have it difficult. The matches will likely be attractive physically, but that hardly guarantees a true match. I know lots of attractive people that struggle to find a partner (and instead move from one one night stand to another). I think at some point it must get pretty depressing and toxic.
  - wayoutthere 5y ago
    That’s it’s whole own thing; people who are incredibly attractive can move on really quick because they know they can get something else. Then they hit their 30s and that all dries up, and they don’t know how to have a real relationship that lasts longer than a few months. Obviously not everyone who is hot is this way, but it’s one of the “types” you’ll find if you date around a lot.

inglor_cz 5y ago

Not the OP, but attraction is a complicated, multi-dimensional beast and the unfortunate thing about Tinder and similar apps is that they reduce all of this to a 2D, possibly doctored, photo of the user. In real life, people who do not look gorgeous can still sweep you off your feet by their smile, laughter, gestures, tone of voice, scent, the way they move, talk, react, fall into daydream... Of all my previous lovers, ending with my wife of 16 years, I wouldn't choose a single one based just on a picture. But I was strongly attracted to all of them in real life. Human magic cannot really be distilled into an algorithmic system. Not yet, anyway.