> When something like this happens I give her a light thump on the head with my finger and a stern “no, that’s bad”. But she doesn’t like it and starts crying.

> When something like this happens I give her a light thump on the head with my finger and a stern “no, that’s bad”. But she doesn’t like it and starts crying. She then runs to her mom who then hugs her and says it will be OK. Growing up there is always the good cop bad cop but there needs to be lines drawn. Talk to your partner about the situation and make sure she knows this needs to be corrected so when she cries to mommy, mommy backs you up and and supports you by telling your daughter "You shouldn't spit juice on daddy. Its not nice to spit juice on people." She can still comfort her, but she has to back you. If not then good luck.