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I’ll just chip in as someone who has never ever wanted kids, who met a lovely girl who was so thankful to also meet someone who has never ever wanted kids. So

I’ll just chip in as someone who has never ever wanted kids, who met a lovely girl who was so thankful to also meet someone who has never ever wanted kids. So just because you’re ‘able’ doesn’t mean that you should. Just wanted to put this here in case others think they’re weird for really, really not wanting kids. You’re not.

simonbarker87 5y ago
Upvoting this as I’ve always been this way and I’m noticing many friends hit their mid thirties saying “oh I don’t want kids and it feels so good, like a weight has been lifted”
bitlax 5y ago
"tend"
knuthsat 5y ago
Yep, me and my wife have so much fun without kids. We are also not spiritually empty and we find deep meaning in things we do through our life together.
redisman 5y ago
100%. Having kids is by far the most life constraining thing you can do. Don’t do it unless you want to be a parent! I have two kids and my life is unrecognizable from what it was before. I enjoy my new life but it is 85% dad, 15% old me. I would recommend the general area of making sacrifices and servicing others in some form. I think that is a big part of the “spiritual” fulfillment of parenting. I used to be so much more self centered. But now I get up every day thinking how to make the lives of my kids and the world better, rather than “what would my lizard brain enjoy today “
- pharke 5y ago
  > now I get up every day thinking how to make the lives of my kids and the world better, rather than “what would my lizard brain enjoy today" This is the key insight. No matter how much dopamine you shovel onto your lizard brain, it will just adapt to it and demand more. There is no maximum speed on the hedonic treadmill. Serving others is the polar opposite of that, you sacrifice the things that would provide you with an immediate reward and the reward you get has nothing to do with satisfying a want. The only way I can describe it is you are only aware of it when it's not there, when you're not doing the right thing by someone, it feels like an absence of something expected. Like putting your hand in your pocket and finding nothing where something should be.

simonbarker87 5y ago

Upvoting this as I’ve always been this way and I’m noticing many friends hit their mid thirties saying “oh I don’t want kids and it feels so good, like a weight has been lifted”

bitlax 5y ago

"tend"

knuthsat 5y ago

Yep, me and my wife have so much fun without kids. We are also not spiritually empty and we find deep meaning in things we do through our life together.

redisman 5y ago

100%. Having kids is by far the most life constraining thing you can do. Don’t do it unless you want to be a parent! I have two kids and my life is unrecognizable from what it was before. I enjoy my new life but it is 85% dad, 15% old me. I would recommend the general area of making sacrifices and servicing others in some form. I think that is a big part of the “spiritual” fulfillment of parenting. I used to be so much more self centered. But now I get up every day thinking how to make the lives of my kids and the world better, rather than “what would my lizard brain enjoy today “

pharke 5y ago
> now I get up every day thinking how to make the lives of my kids and the world better, rather than “what would my lizard brain enjoy today" This is the key insight. No matter how much dopamine you shovel onto your lizard brain, it will just adapt to it and demand more. There is no maximum speed on the hedonic treadmill. Serving others is the polar opposite of that, you sacrifice the things that would provide you with an immediate reward and the reward you get has nothing to do with satisfying a want. The only way I can describe it is you are only aware of it when it's not there, when you're not doing the right thing by someone, it feels like an absence of something expected. Like putting your hand in your pocket and finding nothing where something should be.