4 ms·

The special thing I’ve done is mostly being willing to sit with hard questions like “who am I” and “what do I really want out of life and a job?”, sometimes for

The special thing I’ve done is mostly being willing to sit with hard questions like “who am I” and “what do I really want out of life and a job?”, sometimes for years at a time (low-key). The answer is always the same, and will probably always the same: I am motivated by mastery and autonomy. Thus I put lots of time into finding work that is interesting and has a lot to dig into. I routinely annoy the institutions I work for because status and titles do not work for me. They are empty pursuits that hinge too much on the fickle perceptions of other people who may not share my values. My dream is to work for myself making software customers love. I have made some small steps[1] toward that this year, but replacing my current income will need a lot of work on the side, and that’s fine. I’m playing a game of sorts, where I have a job I really like that is challenging and fits my goals as an individual contributor, whilst also dabbling in learning to make and sell things on the side. Both pursuits support the other, and I don’t have to win at either in order to feel “justified.” This is just one way to approach the job issue. There are a bunch of other good ways to tackle it! 1: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/audiowrangler/id1565701763?mt=12 https://apps.apple.com/us/app/audiowrangler/id1565701763?mt=...

yboris 5y ago
Your mention of "mastery" and "autonomy" fits directly with Self-determination theory (that posits that "Competence", "Autonomy", and "Relatedness" are three important components to a good life). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-determination_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-determination_theory
stingraycharles 5y ago
I feel like this advice focuses on execution (“I know that mastery and autonomy make me happy, $this is how I achieved that”). It’s much harder to actually understand what makes you happy, and when your mind is deceiving you: you may not fully appreciate what you have to give up to achieve a certain goal. Would you be able to elaborate how you realized that mastery and autonomy were the things that make you happy?
- mattgreenrocks 5y ago
  Mastery was a recurring theme. My happiest times in life were always marked by intense learning, and intense learning usually accompanies things that get labeled hard. Now, you don't do hard things because other people say they're hard; you do them because they're interesting to you and they push back when you dig in, causing you to need to bear down. In the process of that, then you start clawing back to beginners mind, and getting closer to be able to let this new thing reshape you in some small way. I love that feeling, it is like discovering a new conceptual world. Of course, it only makes sense if you're intrinsically interested in said thing, and willing to let it change you. Stuff like virtual machines, interpreters, systems programming languages, Haskell, etc is all stuff I just wanted to know how it worked at one point, and I'd get sucked into more and more cool things to learn. I'm not a professional at all of those things (Haskell is a lifetime of learning) but I still enjoy them quite a bit, and have gotten a chance to use all of those professionally. Over time, they become competencies that are increasingly rare, so this has positive effects for future career choices. Re: autonomy, I've always inferred this from my general attitude toward hierarchy, personality type, and watching myself across years and companies fail to be motivated at _all_ by the usual things that people seem to be motivated by. I feign interest in them and accrue enough of them to be reasonably autonomous, but I'm not going to be working weekends for months on end to beat other people at changing a word on my job title. That's the type of thing that flows directly from knowing who I am. I don't need an upgraded title to hope to know who I am. I'm happy to receive it if it is given to me, but if it isn't; that's fine.
- redisman 5y ago
  I’ve found what makes me happy. The issue is that it is not something I can get out of work or a business. As a smaller example. I know we were all lied to that you just need to find what you love and then do that as a job. For me it just killed the enjoyment for one of my passions for years (video games). I enjoy them so much more since moving to general web dev. I also used to love programming but 14 years of doing it as a day job has sucked most of the enjoyment out of it. Now it’s just a great career which is not too bad of an outcome.
ReactiveJelly 5y ago
> The special thing I’ve done is mostly being willing to sit with hard questions like “who am I” and “what do I really want out of life and a job?”, sometimes for years at a time A couple years ago I watched "Avatar: The Last Airbender" for the first time, having skipped its original run. When Uncle Iroh says to Zuko, "You need to start asking yourself the important questions, like _who am I?_, and _what do I want?_" it kinda hit me. I don't have much of an identity and I spend a lot of time bored and aimless because all I want is to be happy and one day retire, which isn't short-term or specific enough to get me through the weekends. I still don't know what I want, and that kinda sucks.
- shrimpx 5y ago
  I think that’s ok. Even people who really know what they want to do can easily reach a point where they don’t know anymore. They may even pursue something else, their “dream career”, only to reach a point where they’re bored with that, too. I would go as far as saying that being in limbo, insecure, bored, questioning without answers, is the natural state. Being pointedly secure in your vision is probably an unstable state.
sjtindell 5y ago
Digging the overall message but honestly people who say “I don’t like titles” come off as so pretentious to me. People care about titles by necessity. If you’re in a position to not, you’re lucky, not uniquely cool or smart.
- akdor1154 5y ago
  You might be able to make your point in a less antagonistic way..
  - sjtindell 5y ago
    Agreed. My bad. Coming up without a formal degree, a title felt important for me to get a foot in the door where I could then prove I can code. I got defensive.
    - mattgreenrocks 5y ago
      That’s fair. I’m speaking as someone who has been in industry for 17 years now. Of course I can say things like that.

yboris 5y ago

Your mention of "mastery" and "autonomy" fits directly with Self-determination theory (that posits that "Competence", "Autonomy", and "Relatedness" are three important components to a good life). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-determination_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-determination_theory

stingraycharles 5y ago

I feel like this advice focuses on execution (“I know that mastery and autonomy make me happy, $this is how I achieved that”). It’s much harder to actually understand what makes you happy, and when your mind is deceiving you: you may not fully appreciate what you have to give up to achieve a certain goal. Would you be able to elaborate how you realized that mastery and autonomy were the things that make you happy?

mattgreenrocks 5y ago
Mastery was a recurring theme. My happiest times in life were always marked by intense learning, and intense learning usually accompanies things that get labeled hard. Now, you don't do hard things because other people say they're hard; you do them because they're interesting to you and they push back when you dig in, causing you to need to bear down. In the process of that, then you start clawing back to beginners mind, and getting closer to be able to let this new thing reshape you in some small way. I love that feeling, it is like discovering a new conceptual world. Of course, it only makes sense if you're intrinsically interested in said thing, and willing to let it change you. Stuff like virtual machines, interpreters, systems programming languages, Haskell, etc is all stuff I just wanted to know how it worked at one point, and I'd get sucked into more and more cool things to learn. I'm not a professional at all of those things (Haskell is a lifetime of learning) but I still enjoy them quite a bit, and have gotten a chance to use all of those professionally. Over time, they become competencies that are increasingly rare, so this has positive effects for future career choices. Re: autonomy, I've always inferred this from my general attitude toward hierarchy, personality type, and watching myself across years and companies fail to be motivated at _all_ by the usual things that people seem to be motivated by. I feign interest in them and accrue enough of them to be reasonably autonomous, but I'm not going to be working weekends for months on end to beat other people at changing a word on my job title. That's the type of thing that flows directly from knowing who I am. I don't need an upgraded title to hope to know who I am. I'm happy to receive it if it is given to me, but if it isn't; that's fine.
redisman 5y ago
I’ve found what makes me happy. The issue is that it is not something I can get out of work or a business. As a smaller example. I know we were all lied to that you just need to find what you love and then do that as a job. For me it just killed the enjoyment for one of my passions for years (video games). I enjoy them so much more since moving to general web dev. I also used to love programming but 14 years of doing it as a day job has sucked most of the enjoyment out of it. Now it’s just a great career which is not too bad of an outcome.

ReactiveJelly 5y ago

> The special thing I’ve done is mostly being willing to sit with hard questions like “who am I” and “what do I really want out of life and a job?”, sometimes for years at a time A couple years ago I watched "Avatar: The Last Airbender" for the first time, having skipped its original run. When Uncle Iroh says to Zuko, "You need to start asking yourself the important questions, like _who am I?_, and _what do I want?_" it kinda hit me. I don't have much of an identity and I spend a lot of time bored and aimless because all I want is to be happy and one day retire, which isn't short-term or specific enough to get me through the weekends. I still don't know what I want, and that kinda sucks.

shrimpx 5y ago
I think that’s ok. Even people who really know what they want to do can easily reach a point where they don’t know anymore. They may even pursue something else, their “dream career”, only to reach a point where they’re bored with that, too. I would go as far as saying that being in limbo, insecure, bored, questioning without answers, is the natural state. Being pointedly secure in your vision is probably an unstable state.

sjtindell 5y ago

Digging the overall message but honestly people who say “I don’t like titles” come off as so pretentious to me. People care about titles by necessity. If you’re in a position to not, you’re lucky, not uniquely cool or smart.

akdor1154 5y ago
You might be able to make your point in a less antagonistic way..
- sjtindell 5y ago
  Agreed. My bad. Coming up without a formal degree, a title felt important for me to get a foot in the door where I could then prove I can code. I got defensive.
  - mattgreenrocks 5y ago
    That’s fair. I’m speaking as someone who has been in industry for 17 years now. Of course I can say things like that.