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Very productive discussion here with lots of tips shared here. I am grateful that HN is one of the places which still feel worth the time spent. I would like to

by seaman1921 5y ago

Very productive discussion here with lots of tips shared here. I am grateful that HN is one of the places which still feel worth the time spent. I would like to share my own thoughts as well.. Personally, my weakness is video-games and I have lost the ability to stop playing once I start. Gaming sessions usually last for hours and hours until I feel satisfied (Doesn't matter whether I am winning or losing). I tried several strategies for self-control but none worked out, so I have taken extreme measures to completely stay away from gaming. - I have deleted my steam and similar profiles (they don't make this easy) - I do not own a mouse anymore (switched to a trackpad completely) - If I really feel the need, I just watch a gaming-stream on twitch/highlights on youtube - I would like to phase this out as well, but have not found an effective strategy to do so yet, since blocking these websites is not a reasonable option. Finally, about reading, I have been doing more of it lately, but I usually read research-papers related to my work and some popular self-improvement books. What really helped me is purchasing a kindle - it offers a free feature to convert PDFs to kindle format - which doesn't work so well with research papers with lots of images and charts but otherwise really helpful.

BrianOnHN 5y ago
We haven't scrutinized video games enough after the "video games cause violence" myth was debunked. Hands down the biggest addiction among my friends in their late 20s and early 30s. The problem is that none of them see it that way. They take breaks from "known" addictions (alcohol, cannabis) repeatedly, only to still fail to reach their goals, without ever acknowledging the gaming issue.
- emptyparadise 5y ago
  Doesn't help that every product is trying to be as addictive as possible these days. All the psychological devastation of hard drugs and none of the euphoria.
- pm90 5y ago
  What kind of goals is it preventing them from reaching?
  - gman83 5y ago
    Well I don't know what he was referring to, but at some point while I was at university I became totally addicted to the game "Football Manager". I would stay up entire nights playing that game. I had to completely quit playing it or I would have flunked out.
  - seaman1921 5y ago
    basically when you get addicted to video-games, you prioritise it over everything else in your life - eg. you start skipping meetings, both at work and hanging out with friends, skip spending time with your loved ones and even skip taking care of your own health (gym/sports/..)
- Apocryphon 5y ago
  As an aside, I wonder if we’ve missed out on longer term repercussions of violence in video games, after the hysteria of video games causing violence turned out to be false. You’d think immersing people in unreality for extended amounts of time could have a desensitizing effect. Sure, there’s violent movies and other media, but the degree of immersion feels like it should make a difference. And I’m still weirded out how kids these days can get an elementary familiarity with real-life weapons not from gritty adult FPS like Doom, but the cartoony Fortnite.
pm90 5y ago
I doubt what I say might be helpful here, but in the spirit of sharing… I grew up severely addicted to video games. My parents didn’t buy me a PC until I was in college, and so I would befriend anyone in school who had a PC and was willing to let me play/ take turns in playing. It was pretty insane now that I think back… I didn’t even mind watching others play, I just loved video games so fucking much. In college, the semester I did get my own machine, I got Cs in most of my courses (while I had been a mostly A and some B student in previous semesters). I returned my machine to my parents in the hopes of improving my grades, but I would just borrow a laptop from a friend and play anyways. I didn’t get a console for the longest time as an adult. However when I saw a pretty great game on a PlayStation at a friends place, I was hooked and bought it. The addiction was back: couldn’t stop playing until I completed the game; I barely got by with other things while I played. However, I guess my life got more interesting so there were other things that I really liked doing too. But If there is a really cool game, I will get it, and the rest of my life takes a backseat while I complete it. During the pandemic, I went really hard for factorio and would spend hours upon hours in the game, to the point that I was dreaming in designs for solving problems in the game. Today, I would say I have a good relationship with video games. When a new game is released that I find interesting, I am hyped. I’m very upfront about this to my coworkers and my manager, that I might be less productive because a game is coming out. Sometimes I take time off just to immerse in the game completely. I’m happy that I have a somewhat healthy relationship with gaming today. I couldn’t have gone through the pandemic without video games… and some games are just so good, there are moments from these that are very memorable. I know not everyone may be able to get this balance, I guess I’m just happy I was able to because I really love gaming. As a socially awkward teen, it provided me an amazing escape and I latched on to it really hard. As an adult, I still love the feeling of escaping reality, of total immersion in a story, in a different universe.
- seaman1921 5y ago
  Thanks for sharing, and congrats, you have made really good progress! Having a healthy relationship with video-games, while not prioritising it over everything else in life (except on some occasions ;)) seems like a really good end state. As for myself, I will only start playing again when I get a trusty accountability partner who would make sure that my relationship with gaming stays healthy :)

BrianOnHN 5y ago

We haven't scrutinized video games enough after the "video games cause violence" myth was debunked. Hands down the biggest addiction among my friends in their late 20s and early 30s. The problem is that none of them see it that way. They take breaks from "known" addictions (alcohol, cannabis) repeatedly, only to still fail to reach their goals, without ever acknowledging the gaming issue.

emptyparadise 5y ago
Doesn't help that every product is trying to be as addictive as possible these days. All the psychological devastation of hard drugs and none of the euphoria.
pm90 5y ago
What kind of goals is it preventing them from reaching?
- gman83 5y ago
  Well I don't know what he was referring to, but at some point while I was at university I became totally addicted to the game "Football Manager". I would stay up entire nights playing that game. I had to completely quit playing it or I would have flunked out.
- seaman1921 5y ago
  basically when you get addicted to video-games, you prioritise it over everything else in your life - eg. you start skipping meetings, both at work and hanging out with friends, skip spending time with your loved ones and even skip taking care of your own health (gym/sports/..)
Apocryphon 5y ago
As an aside, I wonder if we’ve missed out on longer term repercussions of violence in video games, after the hysteria of video games causing violence turned out to be false. You’d think immersing people in unreality for extended amounts of time could have a desensitizing effect. Sure, there’s violent movies and other media, but the degree of immersion feels like it should make a difference. And I’m still weirded out how kids these days can get an elementary familiarity with real-life weapons not from gritty adult FPS like Doom, but the cartoony Fortnite.

pm90 5y ago

I doubt what I say might be helpful here, but in the spirit of sharing… I grew up severely addicted to video games. My parents didn’t buy me a PC until I was in college, and so I would befriend anyone in school who had a PC and was willing to let me play/ take turns in playing. It was pretty insane now that I think back… I didn’t even mind watching others play, I just loved video games so fucking much. In college, the semester I did get my own machine, I got Cs in most of my courses (while I had been a mostly A and some B student in previous semesters). I returned my machine to my parents in the hopes of improving my grades, but I would just borrow a laptop from a friend and play anyways. I didn’t get a console for the longest time as an adult. However when I saw a pretty great game on a PlayStation at a friends place, I was hooked and bought it. The addiction was back: couldn’t stop playing until I completed the game; I barely got by with other things while I played. However, I guess my life got more interesting so there were other things that I really liked doing too. But If there is a really cool game, I will get it, and the rest of my life takes a backseat while I complete it. During the pandemic, I went really hard for factorio and would spend hours upon hours in the game, to the point that I was dreaming in designs for solving problems in the game. Today, I would say I have a good relationship with video games. When a new game is released that I find interesting, I am hyped. I’m very upfront about this to my coworkers and my manager, that I might be less productive because a game is coming out. Sometimes I take time off just to immerse in the game completely. I’m happy that I have a somewhat healthy relationship with gaming today. I couldn’t have gone through the pandemic without video games… and some games are just so good, there are moments from these that are very memorable. I know not everyone may be able to get this balance, I guess I’m just happy I was able to because I really love gaming. As a socially awkward teen, it provided me an amazing escape and I latched on to it really hard. As an adult, I still love the feeling of escaping reality, of total immersion in a story, in a different universe.

seaman1921 5y ago
Thanks for sharing, and congrats, you have made really good progress! Having a healthy relationship with video-games, while not prioritising it over everything else in life (except on some occasions ;)) seems like a really good end state. As for myself, I will only start playing again when I get a trusty accountability partner who would make sure that my relationship with gaming stays healthy :)