P. J. O'Rourke can turn a phrase: Our summer weather in 2011 consisted of tornados, heat waves, an earthquake and a hurricane. For everyone this side of

P. J. O'Rourke can turn a phrase: Our summer weather in 2011 consisted of tornados, heat waves, an earthquake and a hurricane. For everyone this side of Nome, summer vacation in the summer is like having a coffee break at 2 a.m. At the very least, our elected officials should be back on the job. They left some unfinished business—such as the survival of America into the second quarter of the 21st century, etc. Eating Whoppers and fries for breakfast together was a bonding experience. Every boy treasures that moment when his father first says to him, "I don't think Mom needs to know about this."