5 ms·

I mean, this seems like stating the obvious but are they not less likely to be homophobic? Polyamory is a heck of a lot simpler when people have flexible sexual

I mean, this seems like stating the obvious but are they not less likely to be homophobic? Polyamory is a heck of a lot simpler when people have flexible sexuality.

gavinray 5y ago
> but are they not less likely to be homophobic Ah, you know this actually hadn't crossed my mind. That's a good point, yeah it definitely takes a comfortable sexuality and a very tolerant/open view of sex to sign up for escapades in a room with your friends and their partners. I could definitely see a strong correlation between homophobia and animosity towards groupsex involving more than one male. Indeed, I've seen the "No way, that's gay!" reaction before. However, most of my male friends who seem upset at the thought of a partner not being monogamous somehow were fine if the scenario involved one guy and multiple women. I don't really understand what level of mental gymnastics goes on for such a level of brazen double-standards to occur, but hey, I'm not here to judge anyone's sexuality or stance on adult acts.
- danenania 5y ago
  Not to say that it's "right" as that is a complex question, but this double standard is logical from a biological point of view when taking reproduction into account. I wouldn't say homophobia is the only explanation.
- leetcrew 5y ago
  > However, most of my male friends who seem upset at the thought of a partner not being monogamous somehow were fine if the scenario involved one guy and multiple women. these seem disjoint? I care a lot about a partner of mine violating explicit boundaries that have been set for our relationship. I don't care much what boundaries others have or whether they choose to cross them; that's their business.
  - neltnerb 5y ago
    I think the point was that the boundaries are often not symmetric. I have also met many more men who are perfectly happy with polyamory -- as long as they are the only man. If people want asymmetric boundaries that is of course always their business. And plenty of those men were hippies too, to be sure. But I've also seen a lot of guys go seriously crazy in the eyes at the concept of another naked man in the room even if there are ten ladies. Maybe there's an explanation for that other than homophobia, and I won't judge anyone for it as long as they're transparent and honest with their partners, but it's clearly unbalanced. We can try to blame biology or something but I don't see why it matters what the source is if it's harmful today.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]

I mean, this seems like stating the obvious but are they not less likely to be homophobic? Polyamory is a heck of a lot simpler when people have flexible sexuality.

gavinray 5y ago

> but are they not less likely to be homophobic Ah, you know this actually hadn't crossed my mind. That's a good point, yeah it definitely takes a comfortable sexuality and a very tolerant/open view of sex to sign up for escapades in a room with your friends and their partners. I could definitely see a strong correlation between homophobia and animosity towards groupsex involving more than one male. Indeed, I've seen the "No way, that's gay!" reaction before. However, most of my male friends who seem upset at the thought of a partner not being monogamous somehow were fine if the scenario involved one guy and multiple women. I don't really understand what level of mental gymnastics goes on for such a level of brazen double-standards to occur, but hey, I'm not here to judge anyone's sexuality or stance on adult acts.

danenania 5y ago
Not to say that it's "right" as that is a complex question, but this double standard is logical from a biological point of view when taking reproduction into account. I wouldn't say homophobia is the only explanation.
leetcrew 5y ago
> However, most of my male friends who seem upset at the thought of a partner not being monogamous somehow were fine if the scenario involved one guy and multiple women. these seem disjoint? I care a lot about a partner of mine violating explicit boundaries that have been set for our relationship. I don't care much what boundaries others have or whether they choose to cross them; that's their business.
- neltnerb 5y ago
  I think the point was that the boundaries are often not symmetric. I have also met many more men who are perfectly happy with polyamory -- as long as they are the only man. If people want asymmetric boundaries that is of course always their business. And plenty of those men were hippies too, to be sure. But I've also seen a lot of guys go seriously crazy in the eyes at the concept of another naked man in the room even if there are ten ladies. Maybe there's an explanation for that other than homophobia, and I won't judge anyone for it as long as they're transparent and honest with their partners, but it's clearly unbalanced. We can try to blame biology or something but I don't see why it matters what the source is if it's harmful today.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]