I've reached different performance levels in different environments. It's a bit embarrassing to see how the environment impacts me. When I feel the confidence a

I've reached different performance levels in different environments. It's a bit embarrassing to see how the environment impacts me. When I feel the confidence and encouragement of others, my capacities increase and I out perform, and when I don't, I sort of 'shut down.' I suspect it is because I grew up in a verbally abusive household and I go numb. That is what it is, and experience has shown me I can't just snap my fingers and get over it. It's okay to require a positive environment. It's okay to change jobs to get it. BTW I have reached high engineer ranks at FANGs. I have also noticed that when the environment is negative and I am working hard, I reach burnout more quickly.