45 ms·

it's not weird at all for feelings of attraction between people who see each other every day to form, and for one or both of them to pursue a romantic relations

it's not weird at all for feelings of attraction between people who see each other every day to form, and for one or both of them to pursue a romantic relationship as a result. this happened many many times in both of our lineages such that we were born and exist today, because humans are social creatures and at some point we evolved beyond just raping each other to procreate. now obviously, offices aren't purely social spaces, you are there to get work done. but what kind of office do you work at where nobody interacts in any way that isn't 100% related to accomplishing work tasks? what makes seeking out a romantic partner at work "weird" compared to seeking out a friendship? (assuming rejection, etc. is handled gracefully—obviously, there's always risk in asking someone out.) (disclaimer: met my wife-to-be at work. (disclaimer: said work was at Walmart, between programming jobs.))

Maursault 5y ago
Congratulations, honestly, and there's nothing wrong with working at WalMart, so the context is unnecessary. But here's the thing: you both violated your employment contract with WalMart, which I doubt explicitly forbids it, but it is exceedingly unlikely your job was ever intended to include romance, to literally pay you to meet and romance your future wife, or vice versa. That's why it is clearly unethical, and obviously many have succumbed to this moral hazard and unsurprisingly incorrectly believe it is appropriate behavior. What you do when you're not working is your business. What you do while working for your employer is their business. Either you made your romance WalMart's business, or you have deceived and stolen wages from WalMart. I think one of Kant's categorical imperatives may make this clearer: "act only in accordance with that maxim through which you can at the same time will that it become a universal law.” Imagine you have 100 employees working for you and your business is competitive. How many coupled romances initiated among them while at work would you tolerate on your dime? If your answer is not "50," then we have a problem, whether it is psychological egoism, narcissism, or just run-of-the-mill hypocrisy. And if your answer is "50," it is likely your business won't be able to compete for tolerating your employees screwing around at work, because you're just paying them not to work. I doubt that could be profitable.
- adamrezich 5y ago
  thank you, but this worldview has little connection to reality. people date at work all the time. people date at work at Walmart all the time. if you want to date someone and either of you is in a position of power over the other, they move one of you to a different department. at another Walmart I worked at years ago, a CSM (cashier manager basically) wanted to date the general manager, so she had to quit, because there was no way to make that work while remaining ethical. where does this idea you have that when you clock in for the day, you somehow shed your humanity and become a personality-less labor-husk, for the duration of the day, until clock-out time, come from? I have made tons of friends at work, both from doing work with them and shooting the shit in-between. this is how my wife-to-be and I met, by doing work together, chatting all the while, and realizing we shared a lot of values and that we should probably be dating. I have never been in a work environment where something like this was explicitly nor implicitly forbidden, because that would be an insane job for crazy people. your perspective is entirely foreign to me, and, judging by my above post's score, many other people as well.
  - Maursault 5y ago
    People steal all the time. People murder, happens every single day. By your judgement, theft and murder is ok, because it happens all the time. This analogy neatly destroys your argument, because it doesn't matter how many people do something, the popularity of an activity does not determine if it is "ok." And refraining from romantic pursuit while working does not remotely remove one's humanity. It is simply maturity that permits restraint. In fact, humanity requires empathy. Try to empathize with someone who is trying to work. Let's say you're trying to work, and someone you must work closely with is making advances towards you and you're not interested. Does that make work a lot easier? Imagine the same situation, but your advances are not wanted... still have to work with them, but now it is going to be far less comfortable. If you can't see how insane it would be if everyone behaved this way, I just don't know how to persuade you that it is wrong. Because if it is wrong for everyone to behave this way, it is wrong for a single individual to behave this way.
    - adamrezich 5y ago

Maursault 5y ago

Congratulations, honestly, and there's nothing wrong with working at WalMart, so the context is unnecessary. But here's the thing: you both violated your employment contract with WalMart, which I doubt explicitly forbids it, but it is exceedingly unlikely your job was ever intended to include romance, to literally pay you to meet and romance your future wife, or vice versa. That's why it is clearly unethical, and obviously many have succumbed to this moral hazard and unsurprisingly incorrectly believe it is appropriate behavior. What you do when you're not working is your business. What you do while working for your employer is their business. Either you made your romance WalMart's business, or you have deceived and stolen wages from WalMart. I think one of Kant's categorical imperatives may make this clearer: "act only in accordance with that maxim through which you can at the same time will that it become a universal law.” Imagine you have 100 employees working for you and your business is competitive. How many coupled romances initiated among them while at work would you tolerate on your dime? If your answer is not "50," then we have a problem, whether it is psychological egoism, narcissism, or just run-of-the-mill hypocrisy. And if your answer is "50," it is likely your business won't be able to compete for tolerating your employees screwing around at work, because you're just paying them not to work. I doubt that could be profitable.

adamrezich 5y ago
thank you, but this worldview has little connection to reality. people date at work all the time. people date at work at Walmart all the time. if you want to date someone and either of you is in a position of power over the other, they move one of you to a different department. at another Walmart I worked at years ago, a CSM (cashier manager basically) wanted to date the general manager, so she had to quit, because there was no way to make that work while remaining ethical. where does this idea you have that when you clock in for the day, you somehow shed your humanity and become a personality-less labor-husk, for the duration of the day, until clock-out time, come from? I have made tons of friends at work, both from doing work with them and shooting the shit in-between. this is how my wife-to-be and I met, by doing work together, chatting all the while, and realizing we shared a lot of values and that we should probably be dating. I have never been in a work environment where something like this was explicitly nor implicitly forbidden, because that would be an insane job for crazy people. your perspective is entirely foreign to me, and, judging by my above post's score, many other people as well.
- Maursault 5y ago
  People steal all the time. People murder, happens every single day. By your judgement, theft and murder is ok, because it happens all the time. This analogy neatly destroys your argument, because it doesn't matter how many people do something, the popularity of an activity does not determine if it is "ok." And refraining from romantic pursuit while working does not remotely remove one's humanity. It is simply maturity that permits restraint. In fact, humanity requires empathy. Try to empathize with someone who is trying to work. Let's say you're trying to work, and someone you must work closely with is making advances towards you and you're not interested. Does that make work a lot easier? Imagine the same situation, but your advances are not wanted... still have to work with them, but now it is going to be far less comfortable. If you can't see how insane it would be if everyone behaved this way, I just don't know how to persuade you that it is wrong. Because if it is wrong for everyone to behave this way, it is wrong for a single individual to behave this way.
  - adamrezich 5y ago