4 ms·

Don't ever take dating advice from women. What women think they want and what they actually want are two different things. Women find power attractive, and you

Don't ever take dating advice from women. What women think they want and what they actually want are two different things. Women find power attractive, and your confidence is a huge indicator of power. Toxic/objectifying men tend to have more confidence hence why they have more success. You can be confident without being toxic but it really doesn't matter. If she's super into you, your objectification of her takes a far back seat and is only really a factor if she intends on marrying you. Also this article just conveniently leaves out the importance of height and physical attractiveness. Typical for a woman to leave that out. Anyway... People who have an easy time dating also happen to be taller and physically attractive... coincidence? No. One influences the other. You have more success if you're attractive. More success makes you more confident, which makes you more attractive.

tubby12345 5y ago
>Don't ever take dating advice from women. What women think they want and what they actually want are two different things. man i guess if you really want to know what hn's values are then just broach dating. jesus.
- deltaonefour 5y ago
  Sorry let me restate this in a way that seems less targeting. There are many areas of disconnect with people in general in what they think they want versus what they actually want. For example: Money. Many people (men especially) think they want lots of money. They don't. What they want is happiness. There's even data to back up the fact that past a certain point money doesn't make anyone happier. Yet the drive to become successful is so strong that men will sacrifice their happiness for a shot at more money. Why does burnout even exist? Because men desire money so much that they illogically sacrifice their happiness for something that won't bring them any more happiness. The above isn't absolutely true but it's a generality that people understand to be generally true. Like men and money... women and dating is one of these psychological disconnects humans have. The problem with many people and with you is that everyone has all these psychological triggers that are always on the look out for anything sexist or racist. Relax man, not many people are racist or sexist and HN should foster an environment where people are able to talk about real biological gender differences without getting cancelled.
  - tubby12345 5y ago
    your comments are FB level posts disguised as brilliant wisdom.
    - deltaonefour 5y ago
      Yeah thanks for that insult out of nowhere.
      - tubby12345 5y ago
        you're spewing misogyny. what did you expect me to do? praise you for it?
        deltaonefour 5y ago
        No I expect mature discussion as the rules of HN specify. There are plenty of people with opinions I vehemently disagree with. The death penalty for example. But their opinion is their right and instead of attacking them and calling them murderers I openly listen to what they have to say and address their points with my own.
        tubby12345 5y ago
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance
        deltaonefour 5y ago
        Relax. My opinions don't even approach the extremes this paradox is referring to. It's akin to a woman saying all men are only interested in Sex. Probably not true for many men, but also very true for an equal amount of men. Either way, not a big deal. There's no holocaust denial here or anything like that. Also women and dating advice isn't even some kind of controversial hard hitting topic that effects anything. We can have mature discussion about the merits and disgusting parts of a death penalty which directly influences human lives but we can't do so about women dishing out bad dating advice? Come on man.
GDC7 5y ago
> What women think they want and what they actually want are two different things. > Women find power attractive This is peculiar because both statements are true but the first one trumps the second. They find power attractive but they also can't approach to save their lives, so at least some minimal work still has to be done by the man, regardless of his power. Obama in 2008 at the peak of his popularity was also a pretty tall dude with blinding white teeth and an ability to mix and match Harvard vernacular and speaking to people's hearts Could have had any woman in America but besides hanging out in his proximity and maybe try to show off some skin, no woman in America would approach him. That's a reason why I think those guys trying to subvert the laws of romantic approach and be chased instead of chasing are looking to become unicorns. Groupies are the only women who approach and it's a rare phenomenon limited to the music industry and movies.
- deltaonefour 5y ago
  >They find power attractive but they also can't approach to save their lives, so at least some minimal work still has to be done by the man, regardless of his power. Tinder and many other similar dating apps eliminated this possibility. Pre-tinder most people had more of a chance simply by having more balls to approach. Now tinder makes it so all women can approach the GigaChad at the same time.
  - GDC7 5y ago
    But they are still receptive, not pro-active. If gigachad is messaging her then they'd shoo you away at the bar and immerse themselves in the texting, otherwise the game stays the same, they have a protective mechanism which prevent them from getting too invested if a male doesn't provide them attention (regardless of power and attractiveness and fame) Nature installed this mechanism because even though gigachad is everything, and you are just something...it's better to get 100% of something than 0% of everything. It goes back to the African praries where it was necessary to also secure resources and protection for pregnancy and later on, not just healthy sperm
    - deltaonefour 5y ago
tasogare 5y ago
> Don't ever take dating advice from women. What women think they want and what they actually want are two different things. This. When women give dating advice they imagine themselves being asked out by an attractive guy. The thing is, the same exact action yields to two drastically different reaction depending on whether she considers the guy as a potential sexual partner or not. For example, saying a little innuendo from the attractive male will be seen as flirting. The same remark from someone she's not attracted will be labeled as sexual harassment. And this is the case with every possible action. Touching her butt? Totally ok if she's into you. Better have a good lawyer otherwise.

tubby12345 5y ago

>Don't ever take dating advice from women. What women think they want and what they actually want are two different things. man i guess if you really want to know what hn's values are then just broach dating. jesus.

deltaonefour 5y ago
Sorry let me restate this in a way that seems less targeting. There are many areas of disconnect with people in general in what they think they want versus what they actually want. For example: Money. Many people (men especially) think they want lots of money. They don't. What they want is happiness. There's even data to back up the fact that past a certain point money doesn't make anyone happier. Yet the drive to become successful is so strong that men will sacrifice their happiness for a shot at more money. Why does burnout even exist? Because men desire money so much that they illogically sacrifice their happiness for something that won't bring them any more happiness. The above isn't absolutely true but it's a generality that people understand to be generally true. Like men and money... women and dating is one of these psychological disconnects humans have. The problem with many people and with you is that everyone has all these psychological triggers that are always on the look out for anything sexist or racist. Relax man, not many people are racist or sexist and HN should foster an environment where people are able to talk about real biological gender differences without getting cancelled.
- tubby12345 5y ago
  your comments are FB level posts disguised as brilliant wisdom.
  - deltaonefour 5y ago
    Yeah thanks for that insult out of nowhere.
    - tubby12345 5y ago
      you're spewing misogyny. what did you expect me to do? praise you for it?
      - deltaonefour 5y ago
        No I expect mature discussion as the rules of HN specify. There are plenty of people with opinions I vehemently disagree with. The death penalty for example. But their opinion is their right and instead of attacking them and calling them murderers I openly listen to what they have to say and address their points with my own.
        tubby12345 5y ago
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance
        deltaonefour 5y ago
        Relax. My opinions don't even approach the extremes this paradox is referring to. It's akin to a woman saying all men are only interested in Sex. Probably not true for many men, but also very true for an equal amount of men. Either way, not a big deal. There's no holocaust denial here or anything like that. Also women and dating advice isn't even some kind of controversial hard hitting topic that effects anything. We can have mature discussion about the merits and disgusting parts of a death penalty which directly influences human lives but we can't do so about women dishing out bad dating advice? Come on man.

GDC7 5y ago

> What women think they want and what they actually want are two different things. > Women find power attractive This is peculiar because both statements are true but the first one trumps the second. They find power attractive but they also can't approach to save their lives, so at least some minimal work still has to be done by the man, regardless of his power. Obama in 2008 at the peak of his popularity was also a pretty tall dude with blinding white teeth and an ability to mix and match Harvard vernacular and speaking to people's hearts Could have had any woman in America but besides hanging out in his proximity and maybe try to show off some skin, no woman in America would approach him. That's a reason why I think those guys trying to subvert the laws of romantic approach and be chased instead of chasing are looking to become unicorns. Groupies are the only women who approach and it's a rare phenomenon limited to the music industry and movies.

deltaonefour 5y ago
>They find power attractive but they also can't approach to save their lives, so at least some minimal work still has to be done by the man, regardless of his power. Tinder and many other similar dating apps eliminated this possibility. Pre-tinder most people had more of a chance simply by having more balls to approach. Now tinder makes it so all women can approach the GigaChad at the same time.
- GDC7 5y ago
  But they are still receptive, not pro-active. If gigachad is messaging her then they'd shoo you away at the bar and immerse themselves in the texting, otherwise the game stays the same, they have a protective mechanism which prevent them from getting too invested if a male doesn't provide them attention (regardless of power and attractiveness and fame) Nature installed this mechanism because even though gigachad is everything, and you are just something...it's better to get 100% of something than 0% of everything. It goes back to the African praries where it was necessary to also secure resources and protection for pregnancy and later on, not just healthy sperm
  - deltaonefour 5y ago

tasogare 5y ago

> Don't ever take dating advice from women. What women think they want and what they actually want are two different things. This. When women give dating advice they imagine themselves being asked out by an attractive guy. The thing is, the same exact action yields to two drastically different reaction depending on whether she considers the guy as a potential sexual partner or not. For example, saying a little innuendo from the attractive male will be seen as flirting. The same remark from someone she's not attracted will be labeled as sexual harassment. And this is the case with every possible action. Touching her butt? Totally ok if she's into you. Better have a good lawyer otherwise.