7 ms·

I mean, it's all cultural. But the idea is that a gift is personal, and that cash is impersonal. The universality is exactly what makes it impersonal. The ide

by lmkg 5y ago

I mean, it's all cultural. But the idea is that a gift is personal, and that cash is impersonal. The universality is exactly what makes it impersonal. The ideal gift (again, in US cultural context) is one that reflects something unique about the giver, or recipient, or the relationship between them. An exchange of cash is something that happens between strangers on a regular basis.

mrfusion 5y ago
Could it also be that it would get awkward if two people exchanged cash gifts and they were different amounts. (Also could get awkward if it was the same amount.)
- philote 5y ago
  If it's a type of exchange where that may happen, then neither side likely needs the money. It's best to get just give a card. I think cash is more appropriate for parents/grandparents/aunts giving money to their kids/grandkids/etc, and less appropriate between peers. If you feel the need to get your peer something, then get them something you think they may like. If you don't know what that is, then IMO you should stick with a card or nothing at all. My family has been moving away from gift giving, in favor of spending time together instead. Show people you care for them all year long and don't buy in to these over-commercialized traditions.
Symbiote 5y ago
This is generally solved with a note alongside the cash. "Please treat yourself to a meal at my favourite restaurant, X." "I think you can buy some plants for the garden."
- ska 5y ago
  > This is generally solved with a note alongside the cash. I think "solved" here should be "mitigated". Certainly culturally it seems lots of people don't consider this equivalent although logically it could be seen as "better".
- unclenoriega 5y ago
  This is the same idea behind giving a gift card (if it's done thoughtfully).
- denton-scratch 5y ago
  Don't agree. If you do something like that, you are making your gift conditional.
Ntrails 5y ago
Lets be clear, a gift card is just as shitty a gift - it just manages to be a mite less crass
- lotsofpulp 5y ago
  A gift card is more crass and far shittier than cash. It is giving me an obligation to shop somewhere and to keep track of that. I do not want to carry a stupid gift card around with me, or have to remember to use it, or how much more is left on it. And the principle of it is that the cash they could have given you is now earning the retailer interest?
  - kelnos 5y ago
    I agree that it's shittier (from an ease-of-use perspective), but I don't agree that it's more crass. The usual objection to cash or cash-equivalent gifts is that they're impersonal and show that you don't know the recipient well enough to pick a gift they'd like, or care enough to expend the effort to find one. A gift card (at least if it isn't something generic like Amazon or Starbucks) at least says "I wasn't sure what to get you, but I know you like X-type things, and store Y is all about X-type things, so here's a gift card for store Y". I think this sort of thing can work well for hobbies where a gift-giver might not be able to reasonably choose what to get. Like, for example, I wouldn't mind a gift card to a hobbyist electronics store like Adafruit, but, given the nature of the things I buy there, I would never expect any of my friends (or even my girlfriend) to know what I'd find useful from there without asking me for a specific thing to get for me, which would ruin any amount of surprise. But on receiving that gift card, I'd think it was a nice surprise, and very thoughtful that they remembered that time I was talking about how I bought an ESP32 dev board and was playing around with some electronics projects. But yeah, if someone gave me an Amazon gift card, I would find that as thoughtless as cash (fortunately still easy to use, since I buy things from Amazon all the time, and I can easily just add the gift card to my account and then not worry about it anymore). And if someone gave me a Starbucks gift card, they clearly do not know me at all, as I don't drink coffee. Again, totally agree that gift cards are worse than cash from a usability perspective, but I think they're less crass. You might be unhappy to receive a gift card, but there are many people who would fell warmer and fuzzier receiving a (thoughtfully-selected) gift card, rather than cash. > And the principle of it is that the cash they could have given you is now earning the retailer interest? As the article says, vanishingly few retailers make interest or investment returns off gift card money. Nearly all of them consider it working capital and use it to help run their businesses. Either way, I find this to be a weird objection. A gift is about the giver and the receiver. If a third party makes interest off some unrelated side transaction, it's kinda petty to be worked up about it.
denton-scratch 5y ago
> something unique about the giver Yass. If I'm giving a gift, as often as not it expresses me, rather than the giftee. E.g. I don't know what the giftee likes to read; so I buy them a book that I'd like to be given. Even if they don't like the book, they have the opportunity to know me better. Signed editions are cool, because they may have resale value. And it's absolutely OK to ebay my gifts; once it's given, it's not mine any more, and it's yours to dispose of as you see fit. I'd prefer if you kept it and used it, of course; but gifting is intrisically haphazard. For me, it's essential that you completely let go of what you've given.

by lmkg 5y ago

mrfusion 5y ago

Could it also be that it would get awkward if two people exchanged cash gifts and they were different amounts. (Also could get awkward if it was the same amount.)

philote 5y ago
If it's a type of exchange where that may happen, then neither side likely needs the money. It's best to get just give a card. I think cash is more appropriate for parents/grandparents/aunts giving money to their kids/grandkids/etc, and less appropriate between peers. If you feel the need to get your peer something, then get them something you think they may like. If you don't know what that is, then IMO you should stick with a card or nothing at all. My family has been moving away from gift giving, in favor of spending time together instead. Show people you care for them all year long and don't buy in to these over-commercialized traditions.

Symbiote 5y ago

This is generally solved with a note alongside the cash. "Please treat yourself to a meal at my favourite restaurant, X." "I think you can buy some plants for the garden."

ska 5y ago
> This is generally solved with a note alongside the cash. I think "solved" here should be "mitigated". Certainly culturally it seems lots of people don't consider this equivalent although logically it could be seen as "better".
unclenoriega 5y ago
This is the same idea behind giving a gift card (if it's done thoughtfully).
denton-scratch 5y ago
Don't agree. If you do something like that, you are making your gift conditional.

Ntrails 5y ago

Lets be clear, a gift card is just as shitty a gift - it just manages to be a mite less crass

lotsofpulp 5y ago
A gift card is more crass and far shittier than cash. It is giving me an obligation to shop somewhere and to keep track of that. I do not want to carry a stupid gift card around with me, or have to remember to use it, or how much more is left on it. And the principle of it is that the cash they could have given you is now earning the retailer interest?
- kelnos 5y ago
  I agree that it's shittier (from an ease-of-use perspective), but I don't agree that it's more crass. The usual objection to cash or cash-equivalent gifts is that they're impersonal and show that you don't know the recipient well enough to pick a gift they'd like, or care enough to expend the effort to find one. A gift card (at least if it isn't something generic like Amazon or Starbucks) at least says "I wasn't sure what to get you, but I know you like X-type things, and store Y is all about X-type things, so here's a gift card for store Y". I think this sort of thing can work well for hobbies where a gift-giver might not be able to reasonably choose what to get. Like, for example, I wouldn't mind a gift card to a hobbyist electronics store like Adafruit, but, given the nature of the things I buy there, I would never expect any of my friends (or even my girlfriend) to know what I'd find useful from there without asking me for a specific thing to get for me, which would ruin any amount of surprise. But on receiving that gift card, I'd think it was a nice surprise, and very thoughtful that they remembered that time I was talking about how I bought an ESP32 dev board and was playing around with some electronics projects. But yeah, if someone gave me an Amazon gift card, I would find that as thoughtless as cash (fortunately still easy to use, since I buy things from Amazon all the time, and I can easily just add the gift card to my account and then not worry about it anymore). And if someone gave me a Starbucks gift card, they clearly do not know me at all, as I don't drink coffee. Again, totally agree that gift cards are worse than cash from a usability perspective, but I think they're less crass. You might be unhappy to receive a gift card, but there are many people who would fell warmer and fuzzier receiving a (thoughtfully-selected) gift card, rather than cash. > And the principle of it is that the cash they could have given you is now earning the retailer interest? As the article says, vanishingly few retailers make interest or investment returns off gift card money. Nearly all of them consider it working capital and use it to help run their businesses. Either way, I find this to be a weird objection. A gift is about the giver and the receiver. If a third party makes interest off some unrelated side transaction, it's kinda petty to be worked up about it.

denton-scratch 5y ago

> something unique about the giver Yass. If I'm giving a gift, as often as not it expresses me, rather than the giftee. E.g. I don't know what the giftee likes to read; so I buy them a book that I'd like to be given. Even if they don't like the book, they have the opportunity to know me better. Signed editions are cool, because they may have resale value. And it's absolutely OK to ebay my gifts; once it's given, it's not mine any more, and it's yours to dispose of as you see fit. I'd prefer if you kept it and used it, of course; but gifting is intrisically haphazard. For me, it's essential that you completely let go of what you've given.