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> if you wanna come in for more brown-nosing ( or networking, or collaboration, or whatever they wanna call it ) I find this line of thinking, which is very pr

by astrea 5y ago

> if you wanna come in for more brown-nosing ( or networking, or collaboration, or whatever they wanna call it ) I find this line of thinking, which is very prevalent on HN, to be incredibly toxic. As if a social creature seeking to be amongst others is something disdainful or pathetic.

ctoth 5y ago
I think there's a significant difference between social creatures that are just craving socialization which we can trivially achieve outside of work and wanting to specifically hang out with your boss every day. If you can't see that difference I'm not sure how to communicate it to you though, but I don't think anyone is calling anyone pathetic for needing socialization.
wlesieutre 5y ago
The apparent disdain for it is probably coming from frustration at being unnecessarily forced back into that environment where they'd rather not be, just like they used to be before COVID started. You don't see a lot of helpful (read: condescending) advice columns titled "Dear extroverts: how to be more quiet and introspective." The less social creatures among us that pretty often. Letting people work in the environment that they like sounds like a positive change for everybody.
- tinus_hn 5y ago
  That’s fine but it turns to projection when you try to force everyone to behave the way you want to behave. It’s not a problem if someone else wants to stay home but it is if they want to force me to stay home. Letting people that want to, work in the office among other people sounds like just the same positive change.
adolph 5y ago
Leans head in door, “Hey boss, headed downstairs for some coffee; want anything?” I’m just a other-seeking social creature!
- legerdemain 5y ago
  Seriously, the number of people in this thread who desperately crave an IRL opportunity to kiss up to their boss is staggering.
  - adolph 5y ago
    There is tremendous dissonance in culture between the rewards of ingratiation and the opprobrium of it. At the same time it is difficult to balance the difference between brown-nosing and being a normal caring fellow human being who is grateful to others. The example I gave is over the top (in my mind), but I assume different workplace cultures have different norms.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
A4ET8a8uTh0 5y ago
I know that it may be difficult to accept, but not everyone has the same 'social' needs. Is there a good reason to force me to drive 20 miles so that we can talk? For some jobs.. sure. I am certain I can't be a butcher remote; not yet anyway. But if my job is done, my boss seems happy with the results, my basic question becomes, why can't I live AND work in my ideal habitat, which happens to limit the amount of people I directly interact with? I was gonna go the Christmas party until omicron showed up. That was the extent of my social needs. More to the point, do I really need to be where I do not want to be? How does that help anyone?

by astrea 5y ago

ctoth 5y ago

I think there's a significant difference between social creatures that are just craving socialization which we can trivially achieve outside of work and wanting to specifically hang out with your boss every day. If you can't see that difference I'm not sure how to communicate it to you though, but I don't think anyone is calling anyone pathetic for needing socialization.

wlesieutre 5y ago

The apparent disdain for it is probably coming from frustration at being unnecessarily forced back into that environment where they'd rather not be, just like they used to be before COVID started. You don't see a lot of helpful (read: condescending) advice columns titled "Dear extroverts: how to be more quiet and introspective." The less social creatures among us that pretty often. Letting people work in the environment that they like sounds like a positive change for everybody.

tinus_hn 5y ago
That’s fine but it turns to projection when you try to force everyone to behave the way you want to behave. It’s not a problem if someone else wants to stay home but it is if they want to force me to stay home. Letting people that want to, work in the office among other people sounds like just the same positive change.

adolph 5y ago

Leans head in door, “Hey boss, headed downstairs for some coffee; want anything?” I’m just a other-seeking social creature!

legerdemain 5y ago
Seriously, the number of people in this thread who desperately crave an IRL opportunity to kiss up to their boss is staggering.
- adolph 5y ago
  There is tremendous dissonance in culture between the rewards of ingratiation and the opprobrium of it. At the same time it is difficult to balance the difference between brown-nosing and being a normal caring fellow human being who is grateful to others. The example I gave is over the top (in my mind), but I assume different workplace cultures have different norms.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]

A4ET8a8uTh0 5y ago

I know that it may be difficult to accept, but not everyone has the same 'social' needs. Is there a good reason to force me to drive 20 miles so that we can talk? For some jobs.. sure. I am certain I can't be a butcher remote; not yet anyway. But if my job is done, my boss seems happy with the results, my basic question becomes, why can't I live AND work in my ideal habitat, which happens to limit the amount of people I directly interact with? I was gonna go the Christmas party until omicron showed up. That was the extent of my social needs. More to the point, do I really need to be where I do not want to be? How does that help anyone?