This is becoming a common quandary for GenX(ish) folks - how to care for both parents and children at the same time. Especially hard when so many of the former

This is becoming a common quandary for GenX(ish) folks - how to care for both parents and children at the same time. Especially hard when so many of the former didn't plan well. My suggestion would be to seek out an elder-care specialist. They not only know what kinds of support are available - including issues or options you might not have thought of - but they have contacts with all the different sorts of service providers. My brother and I engaged one briefly when we needed to find a nursing home for our mother. Both of us had already tried and mostly struck out on finding anything decent; she was able to get us a spot at a much nicer facility than anything we had even been able to look at. This was especially valuable when COVID hit; the peace of mind from knowing that they were on top of things was invaluable. Money very well spent IMO, and not even all that much. From what I hear, quality in-home care can be even harder to find, so those contacts become even more valuable. If you can't find such a specialist on your own, your parents' doctor(s) might be able to give you a referral.