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Family estrangement: Why adults are cutting off their parents

18 points by CRConrad 5y ago

octokatt 5y ago
TL;DR: Family estrangement is more common because families are less dependent on each other for immediate survival, more emotionally aware of the impacts of abusive behavior, and more able to move away from their families. Having been estranged from a good portion of my family of origin for a while… yep. Good summary. Being able to get away from a bad situation is a social good, and I’m glad we’re here.
dangle1 5y ago
Thanks for posting, there are some interesting statements in this article. I can relate to the arrival of a child clarifying that a parent's behavior that was previously tolerated can no longer be tolerated for the well-being of the child. I'm left wondering what will happen to estranged parents as they age without support from their children. At least in the US, our government and non-profit safety net is not robust enough to provide for the increasing number of aging individuals that are coming down the pipe.
msarrel 5y ago
Interesting article. I thought I was the only one. I put up with my parents' opinions and orders for my entire life because I thought I had to. Then I got married, and within a few months they tried to pull the same tricks on my wife. When I saw this, I was able to see how very wrong and very selfish and unhelpful they truly behave. I don't really need that in my life.
magnetowasright 5y ago
Interesting article. It’s nice to see one sympathetic to the people choosing to cut contact; the handful of times I’ve come across articles on the topic it’s often spun against the people choosing to cut contact and discussing (ab)using grandparents’ rights laws/processes which I think is just abhorrent. Friendly reminder to get your will and power of attorney documents created or updated. I got mine done because I don’t want my family of origin to have any power over me if I’m incapacitated, nor do I want them getting _anything_ if I die before they do. Even if you’re young and healthy, even if you’re single and childless, even if you aren’t estranged from an awful family of origin, get a will kit or go see a lawyer.

18 points by CRConrad 5y ago

TL;DR: Family estrangement is more common because families are less dependent on each other for immediate survival, more emotionally aware of the impacts of abusive behavior, and more able to move away from their families. Having been estranged from a good portion of my family of origin for a while… yep. Good summary. Being able to get away from a bad situation is a social good, and I’m glad we’re here.

dangle1 5y ago

Thanks for posting, there are some interesting statements in this article. I can relate to the arrival of a child clarifying that a parent's behavior that was previously tolerated can no longer be tolerated for the well-being of the child. I'm left wondering what will happen to estranged parents as they age without support from their children. At least in the US, our government and non-profit safety net is not robust enough to provide for the increasing number of aging individuals that are coming down the pipe.

msarrel 5y ago

Interesting article. I thought I was the only one. I put up with my parents' opinions and orders for my entire life because I thought I had to. Then I got married, and within a few months they tried to pull the same tricks on my wife. When I saw this, I was able to see how very wrong and very selfish and unhelpful they truly behave. I don't really need that in my life.

magnetowasright 5y ago

Interesting article. It’s nice to see one sympathetic to the people choosing to cut contact; the handful of times I’ve come across articles on the topic it’s often spun against the people choosing to cut contact and discussing (ab)using grandparents’ rights laws/processes which I think is just abhorrent. Friendly reminder to get your will and power of attorney documents created or updated. I got mine done because I don’t want my family of origin to have any power over me if I’m incapacitated, nor do I want them getting _anything_ if I die before they do. Even if you’re young and healthy, even if you’re single and childless, even if you aren’t estranged from an awful family of origin, get a will kit or go see a lawyer.