4 ms·

God forbid your colleagues attempt to socialize with you. You might as well be a robot to them.

jacquesm 5y ago
Yes, but some of us have work to do and if you communicate in installments instead of just coming to the point it will take five interruptions instead of one interruption to get you unstuck.
anthropodie 5y ago
I am exactly like parent. I just can't do the small talk. Get to the point already is my attitude whole life. It's not that I don't care about others well being or their dog, I do. It's just that when someone asks me I always tell them I am fine even if I am not. I don't want to bother them with my troubles. And I assume they have similar mental process which recently I have come to realize is not true.
- fowlie 5y ago
  > And I assume they have similar mental process which recently I have come to realize is not true. How did you realize it? I'm asking because you sound a lot like myself.
  - anthropodie 5y ago
    Multiple failed relationships, I am afraid. We are all same but there are also some fundamental differences in how people process certain experiences. Some people care a lot about others while others might care less about others or some might not care at all and I think that changes perception of reality drastically of each person. And that's just one parameter, empathy. In reality, there could 100s of parameters shaping an individual's perception resulting in so many variations and so many misunderstandings. People usually project there own good/bad traits on others like I used to think that people think like me which is far from reality. But I think these differences are absolutely needed and the evolution kind of selected this approach for the world to move forward. Also, even if this world had come this far with only 1 trait I believe it would have been pretty boring place to be.
- BoorishBears 5y ago
  > It's just that when someone asks me I always tell them I am fine even if I am not. I don't want to bother them with my troubles. Maybe this is generational, but to me that's just the basic social contract? I remember visiting a friend in North Carolina, and as we were walking a complete stranger asked "How are you?". Without missing a beat my friend nods and asks "How are you?" in reply and continues on... and apparently that was normal to him. It's not really about asking someone to dump their troubles on your plate, it's about acknowledging the person before you make an ask. As long as you're not pinging someone multiple times over it, I don't see an issue. The idea is just don't make someone switch contexts a bunch of times over niceties
dharmab 5y ago
I don't mind the socializing, just put it in a separate comment thread so I can keep organized!

Yes, but some of us have work to do and if you communicate in installments instead of just coming to the point it will take five interruptions instead of one interruption to get you unstuck.

anthropodie 5y ago

I am exactly like parent. I just can't do the small talk. Get to the point already is my attitude whole life. It's not that I don't care about others well being or their dog, I do. It's just that when someone asks me I always tell them I am fine even if I am not. I don't want to bother them with my troubles. And I assume they have similar mental process which recently I have come to realize is not true.

fowlie 5y ago
> And I assume they have similar mental process which recently I have come to realize is not true. How did you realize it? I'm asking because you sound a lot like myself.
- anthropodie 5y ago
  Multiple failed relationships, I am afraid. We are all same but there are also some fundamental differences in how people process certain experiences. Some people care a lot about others while others might care less about others or some might not care at all and I think that changes perception of reality drastically of each person. And that's just one parameter, empathy. In reality, there could 100s of parameters shaping an individual's perception resulting in so many variations and so many misunderstandings. People usually project there own good/bad traits on others like I used to think that people think like me which is far from reality. But I think these differences are absolutely needed and the evolution kind of selected this approach for the world to move forward. Also, even if this world had come this far with only 1 trait I believe it would have been pretty boring place to be.
BoorishBears 5y ago
> It's just that when someone asks me I always tell them I am fine even if I am not. I don't want to bother them with my troubles. Maybe this is generational, but to me that's just the basic social contract? I remember visiting a friend in North Carolina, and as we were walking a complete stranger asked "How are you?". Without missing a beat my friend nods and asks "How are you?" in reply and continues on... and apparently that was normal to him. It's not really about asking someone to dump their troubles on your plate, it's about acknowledging the person before you make an ask. As long as you're not pinging someone multiple times over it, I don't see an issue. The idea is just don't make someone switch contexts a bunch of times over niceties

dharmab 5y ago

I don't mind the socializing, just put it in a separate comment thread so I can keep organized!