3 ms·

We have to be careful, there are toxic people who would constantly dismiss other people into submission by calling their ideas stupid repeatedly. This is abusiv

We have to be careful, there are toxic people who would constantly dismiss other people into submission by calling their ideas stupid repeatedly. This is abusive and it better not be permitted. They could use a more civil word for it. Here's the thing, I don't mind people I'm familiar with (and who earned their trust) calling me or my ideas stupid, but if it comes from other people they don't really have that privilege, they ought to measure up their words, especially if do it repeatedly where it could become downright harmful.

gumby 5y ago
This kind of pattern is also quite common at MIT (or was when I was an undergrad). I found it great. However your caution is warranted. Even if the person saying “that’s dumb” is a nice person the listener might not know that, or might have been conditioned by someone like what you describe. Years ago I was on a panel: there was an organizer (who chose the participants) and me. The first words I spoke were, “I think [organizer] is completely wrong and in fact has things utterly backwards.” We spoke for a while and as we walked off stage, Organizer said with a smile “That was great. I think it went very well”. As we parted an audience member came up and said they were shocked at how hostile I had been to Organizer. I happened to know both people and they had attended MIT as well. Moral: jargon is contextual jargon, even if it consists of ordinary words. Think of your audience.
- onemoresoop 5y ago
  Yes exactly. I'd endear a friend back and forth laughingly calling each other POS but in our context it was actually ok banter. We were even talking about what a good friendship we have so we can allow each other to use those words and cross a line without any real threat. Such are the contexts that are okay for this type of thing.
  - gumby 5y ago
    Advice for Australians in the US: you probably call someone you don’t like a bastard and call your best mate a real bastard. Don’t learn the hard was as I did: things do not work that way in the USA.
- ip26 5y ago
  Speaking as an audience, it's the "completely wrong" and the "utterly backwards" that makes it seem hostile & personal rather than simply factual.

gumby 5y ago

This kind of pattern is also quite common at MIT (or was when I was an undergrad). I found it great. However your caution is warranted. Even if the person saying “that’s dumb” is a nice person the listener might not know that, or might have been conditioned by someone like what you describe. Years ago I was on a panel: there was an organizer (who chose the participants) and me. The first words I spoke were, “I think [organizer] is completely wrong and in fact has things utterly backwards.” We spoke for a while and as we walked off stage, Organizer said with a smile “That was great. I think it went very well”. As we parted an audience member came up and said they were shocked at how hostile I had been to Organizer. I happened to know both people and they had attended MIT as well. Moral: jargon is contextual jargon, even if it consists of ordinary words. Think of your audience.

onemoresoop 5y ago
Yes exactly. I'd endear a friend back and forth laughingly calling each other POS but in our context it was actually ok banter. We were even talking about what a good friendship we have so we can allow each other to use those words and cross a line without any real threat. Such are the contexts that are okay for this type of thing.
- gumby 5y ago
  Advice for Australians in the US: you probably call someone you don’t like a bastard and call your best mate a real bastard. Don’t learn the hard was as I did: things do not work that way in the USA.
ip26 5y ago
Speaking as an audience, it's the "completely wrong" and the "utterly backwards" that makes it seem hostile & personal rather than simply factual.