3 ms·

From the perspective of a straight white man who constantly deals with severe mental health issues, I don't want some kind of space or forum to have my issues h

From the perspective of a straight white man who constantly deals with severe mental health issues, I don't want some kind of space or forum to have my issues heard. I recognise that my thought process that leads me to conclude that probably falls into the category of "toxic masculinity", but my issues are my own, and, regardless of whether or not I am in a "space" that allows for me to share my feelings, I personally feel that offloading your issues onto people who aren't trained professionals is selfish and can be harmful. From my perspective, what men need is to be able to destigmatize seeking professional help for mental issues.

microtherion 5y ago
Professional help is a space or forum to have your issues heard, though, isn't it?
- ok_dad 5y ago
  Professional therapy is a different thing, I believe, than a close social circle of people who will listen without judgement.
  - microtherion 5y ago
    I agree, and both have their place. But I would argue that some underlying concepts are the same.
    - ok_dad 5y ago
      Yea, definitely agree! I guess I'm just not comfortable with strangers like therapists and they never let you get to know them, so I can never trust them fully like a close friend.
- shruubi 5y ago
  Sort of, it's a space where someone who is trained to help you can do so. And I'll admit that it may be a case of I'm not understanding the details of what the original article was meaning, but I read it as "support networks" etc. I don't want to get together with people, regardless of if they are strangers or friends/family and talk about my problems. Realistically what can they do? More often than not in those spaces it is a lot of listening and empathising. If that makes a person feel better, then I'm all for that. But for me, it comes across as performative caring to make others feel good about "helping" and isn't actually addressing what my issues are or why they make me feel a certain way. I will say, all of the above is based upon my own experiences and how I feel, and isn't intended as a sweeping claim. I want everyone who has mental health issues to have access to the help they need, and if someone needs the kind of help that involves listening and empathising then they should absolutely have access to that. I'm just not sure based upon my own experience (and the experiences of other men), that a lot of men want the same kind of mental health support that is available to women.

microtherion 5y ago

Professional help is a space or forum to have your issues heard, though, isn't it?

ok_dad 5y ago
Professional therapy is a different thing, I believe, than a close social circle of people who will listen without judgement.
- microtherion 5y ago
  I agree, and both have their place. But I would argue that some underlying concepts are the same.
  - ok_dad 5y ago
    Yea, definitely agree! I guess I'm just not comfortable with strangers like therapists and they never let you get to know them, so I can never trust them fully like a close friend.
shruubi 5y ago
Sort of, it's a space where someone who is trained to help you can do so. And I'll admit that it may be a case of I'm not understanding the details of what the original article was meaning, but I read it as "support networks" etc. I don't want to get together with people, regardless of if they are strangers or friends/family and talk about my problems. Realistically what can they do? More often than not in those spaces it is a lot of listening and empathising. If that makes a person feel better, then I'm all for that. But for me, it comes across as performative caring to make others feel good about "helping" and isn't actually addressing what my issues are or why they make me feel a certain way. I will say, all of the above is based upon my own experiences and how I feel, and isn't intended as a sweeping claim. I want everyone who has mental health issues to have access to the help they need, and if someone needs the kind of help that involves listening and empathising then they should absolutely have access to that. I'm just not sure based upon my own experience (and the experiences of other men), that a lot of men want the same kind of mental health support that is available to women.