The effect of a child on your life is partly due to things you can not change, partly due to your own and your spouse's decisions and partly due to what society

The effect of a child on your life is partly due to things you can not change, partly due to your own and your spouse's decisions and partly due to what society/TV/advertisments/"common wisdom" tells you to do. If you limit the third factor to a sane minimum, you can go a long way.