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This is a weird stance to take. Software development is not sports. There is no "game day," and the best teams I've worked on have managed to treat folks with r

This is a weird stance to take. Software development is not sports. There is no "game day," and the best teams I've worked on have managed to treat folks with respect while still maintaining a high degree of quality. You can treat people kindly without having to agree with their opinions, or taking their PRs. If you are already going to reply or interact with them, it costs the same to be kind as it does to be a jerk.

SomeCallMeTim 5y ago
>You can treat people kindly without having to agree with their opinions, or taking their PRs. I think that having your PR rejected, no matter how "kindly" you phrase the rejection, is not going to feel good. So "treating them kindly" and "rejecting their PR outright" is a contradiction. Sometimes you just have to tell someone their PR isn't going to work out; that it doesn't just need a few tweaks, but rather a start-from-scratch approach that's 100% different. Flowery language aside, that's going to sting. The "game day" analogy is maybe not a great one, but I get what they're saying: Sometimes you can't afford to spend the time that would be required to educate everyone on exactly how to change their PR so it would be appropriate. Where truly "treating people kindly" would take more of a time commitment than writing the code yourself the correct way, where it would really mean training a junior developer up to mid-tier or senior developer level? It's just not compatible with getting the work done you're responsible for. You can't spend all of your time coddling every potential contributor. So sometimes you just have to say, "Sorry, no, this PR just won't work." Where that's the kindest thing you can say given your constraints. Maybe that's all you mean by "kindness," but the person receiving that comment probably won't see it as very kind. Rejection simply never feels good.

SomeCallMeTim 5y ago

>You can treat people kindly without having to agree with their opinions, or taking their PRs. I think that having your PR rejected, no matter how "kindly" you phrase the rejection, is not going to feel good. So "treating them kindly" and "rejecting their PR outright" is a contradiction. Sometimes you just have to tell someone their PR isn't going to work out; that it doesn't just need a few tweaks, but rather a start-from-scratch approach that's 100% different. Flowery language aside, that's going to sting. The "game day" analogy is maybe not a great one, but I get what they're saying: Sometimes you can't afford to spend the time that would be required to educate everyone on exactly how to change their PR so it would be appropriate. Where truly "treating people kindly" would take more of a time commitment than writing the code yourself the correct way, where it would really mean training a junior developer up to mid-tier or senior developer level? It's just not compatible with getting the work done you're responsible for. You can't spend all of your time coddling every potential contributor. So sometimes you just have to say, "Sorry, no, this PR just won't work." Where that's the kindest thing you can say given your constraints. Maybe that's all you mean by "kindness," but the person receiving that comment probably won't see it as very kind. Rejection simply never feels good.