5 ms·

How much of a choice is it to be attracted to a given individual? Or to crave a certain kind of food? Or to be consumed with a specific kind of work? Or to care

How much of a choice is it to be attracted to a given individual? Or to crave a certain kind of food? Or to be consumed with a specific kind of work? Or to care for your child? I.e. I think we overestimate how much of a 'choice' certain outcomes are for most people.

meken 5y ago
I agree with this. I’ve often contemplated that given that the part of me that has a poor work ethic and refuses to get help has generally won out, I would easily be on the streets if I was born into a family of low socioeconomic status, rather than having lots of savings and living in a nice apartment. Also, I’ve spiraled downwards many times, and I’m lucky that food, isolation, internet are my vices, rather than hard drugs. In the times I’ve finally “decided” to improve my life, I honestly have no explanation for why I did that, versus continue to spiral downwards.
- foobarian 5y ago
  > In the times I’ve finally “decided” to improve my life, I honestly have no explanation for why I did that, versus continue to spiral downwards. It's interesting how much these kinds of choices are affected by people around you. E.g. when I had classmates depending on me to finish a part of a project, or a partner needing a good night sleep, I am much less likely to goof off into the wee hours of the night playing video games or such. Makes me wish I could have recognized this way earlier and set up periodic "check-ins" with a group of friends. I've seen some people accomplish this via "life coaches." Some people have really involved parents. Explains why people with poorer backgrounds may do worse - less of this kind of involvement. Conversely I wonder if church/temple participation helps the other way.
WalterBright 5y ago
People often conveniently claim they had "no choice" so they can absolve themselves of responsibility for their actions. > How much of a choice is it to be attracted to a given individual? Don't confuse ones' choices with ones' desires. You have free will, you can indulge in the bad predilections, or not. Your choice. Nobody said making the better choice is easy. If I had my druthers, I'd eat nothing but donuts and ice cream all day. But I choose otherwise.
- kiba 5y ago
  People often conveniently claim they had "no choice" so they can absolve themselves of responsibility for their actions. Choices or no choices, or free will, doesn't absolve someone of consequences, responsibility, or reality stemming from actions being undertaken.
refurb 5y ago
The choice is not the in feeling, it's in the action. At least when it comes to addiction, there can be no recovery unless there is a conscious choice to do something about it. Nobody can save these people unless they want to be saved.
blago 5y ago
It was 100% my choice to smoke 1.5 packs per day for 20 years. Just like it was my choice to quit. The first choice was easy, the second was not. You don't choose how you feel about things, but to a large extent you choose how you act.

meken 5y ago

I agree with this. I’ve often contemplated that given that the part of me that has a poor work ethic and refuses to get help has generally won out, I would easily be on the streets if I was born into a family of low socioeconomic status, rather than having lots of savings and living in a nice apartment. Also, I’ve spiraled downwards many times, and I’m lucky that food, isolation, internet are my vices, rather than hard drugs. In the times I’ve finally “decided” to improve my life, I honestly have no explanation for why I did that, versus continue to spiral downwards.

foobarian 5y ago
> In the times I’ve finally “decided” to improve my life, I honestly have no explanation for why I did that, versus continue to spiral downwards. It's interesting how much these kinds of choices are affected by people around you. E.g. when I had classmates depending on me to finish a part of a project, or a partner needing a good night sleep, I am much less likely to goof off into the wee hours of the night playing video games or such. Makes me wish I could have recognized this way earlier and set up periodic "check-ins" with a group of friends. I've seen some people accomplish this via "life coaches." Some people have really involved parents. Explains why people with poorer backgrounds may do worse - less of this kind of involvement. Conversely I wonder if church/temple participation helps the other way.

WalterBright 5y ago

People often conveniently claim they had "no choice" so they can absolve themselves of responsibility for their actions. > How much of a choice is it to be attracted to a given individual? Don't confuse ones' choices with ones' desires. You have free will, you can indulge in the bad predilections, or not. Your choice. Nobody said making the better choice is easy. If I had my druthers, I'd eat nothing but donuts and ice cream all day. But I choose otherwise.

kiba 5y ago
People often conveniently claim they had "no choice" so they can absolve themselves of responsibility for their actions. Choices or no choices, or free will, doesn't absolve someone of consequences, responsibility, or reality stemming from actions being undertaken.

refurb 5y ago

The choice is not the in feeling, it's in the action. At least when it comes to addiction, there can be no recovery unless there is a conscious choice to do something about it. Nobody can save these people unless they want to be saved.

blago 5y ago

It was 100% my choice to smoke 1.5 packs per day for 20 years. Just like it was my choice to quit. The first choice was easy, the second was not. You don't choose how you feel about things, but to a large extent you choose how you act.